Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Friday, November 20, 2015

So I went food shopping without a list....on a Saturday morning....

Yeah, I woke up this morning thinking I really should get some groceries since my kids are like starving and not been fed since 8pm the night before! We are actually out of milk and bread so I thought, "I'll just pop down to the shops and grab a couple of things". Now how many of us say this with all the right intentions of doing just that? Why is it that it never actually ends up that way?

I woke up around 7:30am, by the annoying dog next door who was barking. Craparama, seriously its flammin' Saturday morning! A real opportunity to sleep in and a canine (that doesn't belong to me) not even a child, is waking me from a sleep-in day?  It was at this point I should have realised that my day may not be shaping up to be....


No sir-ree! Now that I was awake, I figured I really should get down to the shops and get the "couple" of things I needed before people swarm in the hundreds to do the same thing. Great idea and how clever of me, until I decide to just see what is happening on Instagram...




Then as if time was on fast forward, 30 mins flew by me without even a pinch on the bum to remind me of what I was supposed to be doing. I had to get my priorities right. If I didn't leave to the shops soon, getting a park was going to be insane let alone lining up at the registers.  But before I get out of  bed I get a notification on Facebook. I will just quickly see what that is.....


Craparama I did it again, almost a stinkin' hour has been spent on funny Ellen Show clips, food recipes, funny animals, Humans of New York fraction stories, and other amazing things that only true Facebook embracers totally get and understand. It is now 9am. If I don't haul a' to the shops now, there is no point in going at all. Should I shower...


I managed to get there as the parking spots were filling up but scored me a mighty fine park. Now it's at this point that I, basically in vain, remind myself I really only need to get bread and milk. However, I thankfully remember that I need to get dessert for a dinner we are attending the following evening. Should I right this down?


Naa, I'll remember that!! Note to self, your memory is Luna Park spelt backwards! You rarely remember things that happened only moments ago. Do not kid yourself, you will NOT remember what you need to get and as soon as you hit that grocery store you will get caught in the sale items at the front of the store and purchase at least 10 items before you actually recall why you went there in the first place!

Has anyone seen that Percy Jackson movie where they go to the casino and eat lotus flowers or something like that and they eventually realise that they have been in the casino for about 5 days or so? Well, I feel like that a bit when I am in the grocery store without a list.  I have to be like...

to myself and get my act together and get on with finding the bread, the milk, the desert and oh look what's on special.....


Ok, these are a great special, and a must have. Now let me get back to what I am here for. Then my phone buzzes. "Mum, I totes need bobby pins, can you like get me some?" Ok, now I have to add this to my brain? Let's see, dessert done with the donuts, that were on special, I am so awesome!! I have to get milk, bread, and bobby pins. I walk down the breakfast cereal isle. I just remember we are out of cereal so I add that to the trolley. Don't forget the bread and milk. Then I remember that we need fruit so the boys will have something for 'crunch and sip' at school on Monday. So I head back to the fruit section and pick up some. Everything looks so bright and colourful here. I really should grab a couple more things. Then I see the meat. Do I need meat? Was I here to get meat? Hang on a minute....


I truly am, but I know I didn't come to the shops for nothing. I really did have a purpose. What was it again? That's right milk, bread, and.....then I my phone buzzes, its another text. "Mum, are you like there, did you get my msg..." What message is she talking about? I hate getting random messages from my daughter. Then my phone rings.

Daughter: Hey Mum, do you like ever read my texts?

Me: I think I do?

Daughter: I totes need bobby pins

Me: Yes, I know I will get them but leave me alone or I will forget them!

So that's what I almost forgot. The stinkin' bobby pins. DO NOT FORGET THE BOBBY PINS, OR THE WRATH WILL FOLLOW! I head toward the milk, which annoyingly is on the complete other side of the store. As I am trolleying there, I notice the discount shelf of the cold food that are "Quick Sale" I should totally check it out! I pick up some heavily discounted 'fancy' milk (which is anything that is not standard store brand milk) and some yoghurt. Score! Now I realise I am adding more than I wanted into the my trolley and I really need to solidify my game plan.  Get that milk and then the bread and get out of there, now, now, now! I surprise myself and do exactly that, but because of my   distractions of discounts and specials the check out lines are building up. I manage to scope a shorter line down the other end of the store. I am third in line which was better than the others and I get the chance to catch up on important world news by reading the front pages of the 'gossip' magazines. I am now second in line. I am almost about to start adding my items to the conveyer belt when I remember something....


It is at this point I feel like.....


And then....


But then I'm like....


I am "MUM" I own this errand! I will get this sorted. I load my more than three items onto the conveyor belt. Purchase my items that were supposed to cost less than $20 but ended up being over $100, because you know how it is right? I load them in the trolley and I pick up some bobby pins at Big W on my way out of the shopping centre. I own this mum job, and I will endeavour to write a list next time....endeavour.... no promises because I might forget to write a list, or might not be able to find a pen that works or a spare piece of paper. Whatever happens, I am mum and I will work it out!!!

PS. I am totally showing my age. I always forget (yes I know) I can use the notes app on my phone...I'll get there one day!


Friday, September 11, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 14 Recap and no #BachieTreat

Episode 14

I am still in a bit of shock over last night's episode. I decided to sleep on my thoughts and think about how I should approach this recap. I was raised, like many other children, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. That wisdom lasts until you get your period, or you're pregnant, or you give birth. Lucky for me its not that time of the month and I am not with child, so giving myself a day to ponder my approach really did the trick!

Hometown Visits

H-bomb Heather
We see Straya's hot favourite Heather bring Bachie to QLD. We don't get to see the best of Brisvegas, instead she takes him first to see a mountain while we watch them sip tea and watch pretty scones sit all lined up and pretty by themselves and untouched. Heather shares her family tale with him. This is a very serious point in the show and we love her more for it. Then she takes him down to the farm to meet Warrick. Warrick is a special man, he is not her father but he is a father figure in Heather's life. You can tell when you meet him that he is fully sick hard yakka, he won't beat around the bush (punny) and he will be challenging Bachie for all the right reasons. I like Warrick and he reminds me of..


and....

It is clear to me that Warrick is not accepting Bachie into he circle of trust too quickly. He has to earn it and right he should. #welovewarrick

Llama
Next we are taken to Medusa's, aka Lana's hometown visit. What could be more worrisome than being caught up in a trance by Medusa? Meeting Medusa's mother perhaps?? I wish I could reach into the TV and slap some sense into Bachie! Though like I said in my last recap, since this disgenuine vibe I get from Llama....



 I just can't put a paper bag over the vibe and ignore it, can I?  I am pretty confident Llama leads a double lifestyle as a cat person. I don't have proof, its just the vibe. So I kinda suspected that we would be seeing something like this at her house...


But we did't {sad face}. Though Llama's mum is very intense and she cuts to the chase and whisks Bachie away to give him the royal interrogation, but not in the cellar!! Llama's mum is mostly concerned about Bachie making her precious daughter move away from her to horrible Melbourne. She basically wanted him to promise her that he would move to Sydney for Llama but he was brave and strong and wouldn't give in to her attempt to place another Medusa spell on him, powers must weaken with age.

Sarah

Well, let me think for a minute....


Then I got this sudden urge to paint my finger nails, which I hardly ever do which is kind of weird. Do you know how fascinating it is to watch your nail polish dry? While that was happening I did hear Sarah say she was worried that Bachie thought she was not interested in having children. She wanted to reassure him it's in her life plan, but after she travels and starts her own business. Interesting she felt the need to mention this. The date had a bit of a Nina vibe.

Snezanna

Our second hot favourite lives in Perth and we finally get to meet her daughter, Eve. She is such a cute girl and you can tell that their mother and daughter bond is very strong and in years to come their relationship will be like this...


Maybe Bachie will be in the picture too who knows? I feel like I have this connection with Snez. Not only are we both totally hot and likeable people, but we both love food and we be like...


and we aren't afraid to talk about it. I must add that I want to be friends with Snez so I can be invited to her place for dinner. Her family know how to put on a real meal, and it wasn't even Christmas! It was almost like this...



 Then Snez's brother takes Bachie out for a chitty chat and to play the over protective brother role and be like...


He keeps emphasising to Bachie that he is not just getting engaged to Snez, but he will be a dad to Eve and he will be part of the 'family'. Which freaks Bachie out, because he never thought about it like that before. Now he has to think harder which means we will have more beach thinking scenes, yay {kind of}.

Rose Ceremony

Finally we get a break from all the seriousness of the hometown dates but hang on, there is no laughing and drinking at this cocktail party. Unfortunately the tab was blown last show and it's all serious again and the ladies have their own thinking time in their pretty frocks. Then we heave a sigh of relief as all is good in the world because...


Osher in da house! Whoop Whoop!! But he is all serious too and I am starting to think maybe I should be serious about something...oh look my other hand of nails has completely dried! Then Osher lays down the mathematical language which is super cryptic tonight and I am feeling like ...


Osher isn't just a pretty face with amazing hair, he can teach you important stuff too! Then something weird happens. It's almost like the universe cracks or something. Sarah gets a rose, Snez gets rose, and then we are down to Heather and Llama. Bachie takes a very long time to verbalise his choice. It's almost like the producers want us to think he could change his mind at the last minute if he wanted to....yar as if! Then it happens! Bachie gives the final rose to Llama and the whole of Australia be like....


Maybe it is that time of month after all. #teamheatherforever!!


PS. I didn't have a #BachieTreat tonight, I wasn't feeling so good. I think it was kind of a good idea that I didn't because there was a chance I would have chucked it up when Heather didn't get her rose!!

Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 & 6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1& 2
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