Bachelor Recap Season 4 Episodes 1-7

Dear massive and extensive national, possibly worldly fan base. My sincerest apologies for not being more regular with my blogging. Basically my body decided to ovulate at an irregular moment and now I have a little human growing inside me which will be due to be cut out via c-section late September. I have had many a post written and re-written in my brain but the motivation to sit down at a computer, until now, has been barely there. This will be baby number 5 for us, and while we thought producing 4 babies was a good enough effort and contribution to the Australian population, we figured what harm could one more Wilson do? Don't think too hard on that. Pregnancies are not fun for me. Each pregnancy provides risk of a DVT to my body. I grow happy, but massive babies, and to add to it all, this time around, I have gestational diabetes and I am 7 years older than my last pregnancy. I really should muster up the energy to blog my thoughts about that! I am exhausted to say the least. Raising two teenagers, and growing a baby I don't highly recommend, but somewhere along the way, with prayer, hard work and determination it somehow all works out. Anyway, now you know why my recaps are delayed and you are probably thinking, "Did I notice or care", I will proceed with my thoughts of the Bachie season to date.

Recap in a nutshell episodes 1-7

So we all know the gentle and sweet saying about girls that they are made up of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' right? Well let me apply this to this seasons gaggle of Bachiettes. Well, I might leave the sugar to the side since sugar is not a girl's best friend and lets touch on the spice. The lion's den is made up of a number of interesting characters.The ones to remember most would be Keira, or we can call her a range of nicknames like Scary Spice, Not happy Jan, and Queen Keira, to name but a few and I really should limit myself.

She is going to  bring the most entertainment, and not in the best of ways. She is blond, mildly attractive, (not ugly, but not a glamour either) and has a sporty body. Well, her body is quite good, I will give her that. But her personality is split, to put it bluntly. However, in saying that she doesn't seem too shy in hiding just how cool banana split it is. She calls it like it is,but has no tact. None, zippo, zilch, not even to save her own life. Which is not overly endearing, but makes for the best TV. So naturally she is a reality TV producer's dream.  Her most favourite quirk would have to be licking her front teeth like ALL the FREAKIN time! Like she has peanut butter cemented there for life. As a viewer, this is annoying but don't just take my word for it, see how the peeps on Twitter deal with it!
Queen Keira's most popular quotes to date must be, "I'm not happy","I'm annoyed", "I hate group dates", again to name but a few and I have limited myself on purpose. Episode after episode I watch her and wonder, can I find something about her that makes me want her to win? The answer is absolutely not. Actually speaking of Absolutely, she kind of reminds me of....

Minus the ciggie, but if Queen Keira does not hold back on saying what she wants, whens she wants. Last night's episode totally revealed this side of her. She was immensely ticked off about the intruders entering the house and she let it out on Kiki ( I will talk about her soon). If you recall my recaps from last year, which of course you do as you are my number one fan, you will remember that I desperately hoped for an Suburgatory-style cat fight. Let me refresh your memory.

Scary Spice could just about attack any girl in the Lion's Den and I could totally see this prediction finally come to fruition {happy claps}. She has made it clear she is not on set for the ladies. Although she does claim it's for Richie, but seriously I really don't even think she is staking a claim on him either. I think the real reason why she is on this show is a "Trump-Style" campaign to be the next Bachelorette. One has to ask the question though, how many men would line up to take her on? No seriously...

Enough about Queen Keira, although she provides so much material I could write a thesis on all the different aspect her character brings to the table.

The other girls in the line up to capture Richie's hear include:

Alex

Aka Baby Spice, is young, slim, totally into Richie and has a son. She is a sweet lass, but bless her heart. She is so out of her depth in this show. She has fallen hard and fast and I predict an emotional roller coaster until her exit. She comes across quite needy and I am not sure that Richie can deal with that.  She scored the white rose, which means she can take Richie away each cocktail party for secluded alone time. She stresses each evening on whether to use and if she uses it how it will seem to the other ladies. Bless her heart, she cares too much in a show that require so little caring, from anyone.




Nikki

Megan was my favourite to win but she volunteered to leave in last nights episode. I pinned Nikki( Too Honest Spice) as the other Bachiette in the final two. Now, I think she might take him home, so to speak. She is a very attractive woman, when she is less dolled up (just saying coz I can). She is model of maturity in Lion's Den and comes across as a very down to earth, genuine girl. The kind that might get a gig on a breakfast radio show post show.






Kiki

Aka Posh Spice (though we could say Posh Bogan Spice) has done some modelling, and if you haven't picked up on that by now, then you aren't watching the same show. For some reason its totes important we know this information because it totally defines who she is and why she is on the show I guess. From the first couple of episodes I didn't think she was in it for Richie, but last weeks episode changed my mind a little.
Kiki is not afraid to talk, not quite Queen Keira style, which is why they clash. Queen Keira thinks Kiki ( I have named her Stationery for what I feel are obvious reasons) is a bogan and a peasant. To be honest with you though, I got the impression that Richie at some point has requested a certain percentage of his ideal women to possess a bit of boagnism because they all come across like bogans. Don't get me wrong, that is not a completely bad thing. Essentially, if you are raised in Australia you can't dodge the bogan bullet and its not sexist. It's in us all and we can't hide it, well you can if you think about it too much, but if you have an alcoholic bevvy in your hand your bogan will come out, it just will!!

Rachel

I am only really mentioning Rachel because I didn't actually remember her until last nights episode. She scored a single date but the thing that ruined it all for me, was the Channel 10 promo. They show her backflipping off a pirate ship into water. It was impressive on the promo and made me think there is more to her than just being a bogan! But watching it again during the episode, it just was so deflated. She was a bogan who can backflip instead of a cool chick who can backflip. Its the same feeling you get when you peek at your christmas present before its Christmas. It was a cool surprise, then it became the present you didn't ask for but you have to look surprised. It just ruined it for me. Though she did get a rose. I have to ask though, when will Richie have a single date and not give a rose? Maybe that will be when he has a single with Queen Keira! Can you imagine her reaction if he didn't give her a rose?

Keira doesn't even have to be Wicker, she will cast a spell on Richie and everyone in the house, even Oshie wouldn't be spared!!

Noni

Aka Bacon Spice, is not going to win this gig by any stretch of the imagination but I had to mention her because she has a cool nickname! She loves bacon and she would be considered to be the 'curvy' girl in the house which totally makes me happy to see. The Bachelor definitely lacks diversity in shape, size, and ethnicity. I am definitely not the only one who sees it. Noni seems nice and she is a swimwear designer (sounds familiar to a lass in last season) so I guess we need to watch out for the launch of her new swimwear line coming our way this Summer ! (charity plug over)




So there are some other girls from the original group still holding on with white knuckles. But last nights episode brought three new ladies to the table, which came as a shock to the original Bachiettes. But I do have to ask, yet again, if they saw last season, did they not remember there were "intruders" in that season? It's all part of the show. I so can't wait for a Bachiette to be so into the show she plays it like survivor because she knows how it works. Nothing will be a surprise and she will explain to the other girls that Bachie really doesn't come up with the ideas for the dates himself, he just has to say he does. Say wha?

Before I go, let me chat about Richie for a moment. Now he was not a favourite of mine in the Bachelorette. I found him too agreeable and everything seemed to be "cool bananas" which we all know in life it's not. I found him boring, but still a handsome sort with a good sick pack, sorry six pack and an "as you wish" Wesley look-a-like from The Princess Bride, which scored him bonus cookie points.

 I am still yet to understand though, what a rope specialist does and how that can earn one a good income, but I am open to learning. I might suggest my son consider doing it at Uni. All that aside, this season means we have to watch him week after, week, after boring week. The man's personality is limited to say the least. He is a nice guy, but oh so limited and I feel the girl that accepts his final rose will need to be willing to balance him out or equal him.

So far the shows are best watched with Twitter in hand, it's true, it makes the show more impressive. I also worry for the entertainment value of the show when Keira either doesn't get a rose, or she walks off because she is "Not Happy" with how the girls are behaving or if Richie doesn't do something he should have like kissed her already. Me thinks though that maybe Richie feels a little uneasy (or we could use the word intimidated, either works) around Keira. I can't quite pin point why he would feel this way but maybe its a bit like Keira is like...

Maybe she creeps him out? Whatever the delay in his affection towards her, I worry she might explode quite literally if he doesn't make a move soon!! (notice how the lady in this gif has blond hair too)

The Bachiettes need to consider a lock down plan or a safe zone should this occur. They might need to get Oshie involved because Oshie is the good samaritan in all this. He has the math skillz, them word skillz, commercial promotion skillz, the lean down to my shoulder Richie if you need it skillz. I am not sure if he can dance but I am thinking he must be able to shake it with some boogie skillz, and don't forget the vegan skillz coz he loves the earth. He got all dem skillz. Osher is the package!

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8 HomeTown Visits

Episode 8

BachieQueen gets to meet the families of her Bachies and potential future husband in this episode and I do believe she is feeling a little like this....

Alex

We all know SirAlex is not born in Australia because he speaks British. So I had a hunch that mummy and daddy wouldn't be making an appearance. But my mind does wonder is mummy like....

SirAlex meets up with BachieQueen on Avoca Beach and they have a warm, but not so passionate greeting. It is clear that SirAlex isn't given many opportunities to steal a pash. As their conversation grows, SirAlex reveals that his sister is flying in from NZ to meet her, which takes BachieQueen by surprise. Quickly my mind races on what his sister could look like. My comical heart is hoping for this...

or even....

But neither come true. His sister seems pleasant and while we are given the impression she is going to drill BachieQueen with her British interrogation skills she is actually quite nice.  Which is a bit of a shame really, because we all know he has totally been #FriendZoned.


Micheal

Excuse me....

Now that I have that out of the way, though I could do it again at any moment! Michael lives in Brisbane and he takes BachieQueen to play some soccer, because that is what he does, he has no other job, no he doesn't, why would we question him?  He then informs BachieQueen that his parents live in the opposite building to where he actually lives. He is all like.....

While we are tempted to find out just how amazingly wonderful his apartment really is, we are  totally bummed to find out we aren't going to his place, we are going to his parents. Why would he do that we must ask? Well, I am guessing his apartment doesn't have views of BrisVegas because it seemed awfully important that BachieQueen saw BrisVegas at night and not just in the daylight. He could also be a cat man!

Mikey's parents are super lovely. His dad is full of personality and I am starting to like him more than Mikey. Why does Mikey come across so disgenuine?  Is there still hope for Mikey? At the end of the date, as he says his good bye to BachieQueen, Mikey shows her the palm of his hand, which he has written in high school black pen, ' I heart Sam'. Excuse me...

Maybe there isn't any hope for him after all.

Richie

Richie greets Bachie Queen with a big hug and those who are weak, think that maybe these two  are going to be married by the end of the season. Those who are strong will stick to the winning team, #teamSasha. Richie shows BachieQueen around Perth, because she has never been before. Note to self, how to score a free trip to a city you have never been to!! (though I am married, so that really can't work for me, but share the knowledge selflessly to others)

Then Richie takes BachieQueen home to meet the family and friends. I think this is the only date  where friends out number family and I am a little puzzled as to why this is so. I was kind of hoping for his friends at least to be like this..

Unfortunately they don't look nor sound anything like them and I am disheartened. The friends do a lot of the talking and asking how genuine BachieQueen's feelings and her intentions are. Like she is going to spill her beans and tell them she is going to ask Richie to marry her or something? Way to represent!  BachieQueen manages to survive the night and Richie goes in for the pash, but she no let him but he manages a little kiss. She is saving her love lips for the lucky last Bachie!!

Sasha

This is where the goods are at! You can so tell that Sasha and BachieQueen are a match pre made in heaven and it took this show to bring them together. Their warm embrace was enough to seal the deal and there is no doubt in my mind Bachie Queen is like....

However, Channel 10 have been working overtime to convince us all that Sasha's family, his mum particularly are not supportive of this relationship. From the promos alone, the impression I got about his mum was like...

But as per normal, her comments were cut, pasted, and cropped for affect and it turns out his mum is quite noice and accepting of BachieQueen. So it seems thumbs up all around and this is truly meant to be. It seems only fair at this point that we call the show off and let BachieQueen and Sasha be together and we can only hope for this...

Rose Ceremony

Sadly, back to the reality of the show where BachieQueen must choose another Bachie to go home so she can be with the last of her Bachies another two episodes. We all know its going to be the Bachie that has been #FriendZoned, which was sealed on the date with no kiss. Ta Ta #Sir Alex, no rose for you!

PS. No BachietteTreat this evening.

Missed a Recap?
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 14 Recap and no #BachieTreat

Episode 14

I am still in a bit of shock over last night's episode. I decided to sleep on my thoughts and think about how I should approach this recap. I was raised, like many other children, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. That wisdom lasts until you get your period, or you're pregnant, or you give birth. Lucky for me its not that time of the month and I am not with child, so giving myself a day to ponder my approach really did the trick!

Hometown Visits

H-bomb Heather
We see Straya's hot favourite Heather bring Bachie to QLD. We don't get to see the best of Brisvegas, instead she takes him first to see a mountain while we watch them sip tea and watch pretty scones sit all lined up and pretty by themselves and untouched. Heather shares her family tale with him. This is a very serious point in the show and we love her more for it. Then she takes him down to the farm to meet Warrick. Warrick is a special man, he is not her father but he is a father figure in Heather's life. You can tell when you meet him that he is fully sick hard yakka, he won't beat around the bush (punny) and he will be challenging Bachie for all the right reasons. I like Warrick and he reminds me of..

and....

It is clear to me that Warrick is not accepting Bachie into he circle of trust too quickly. He has to earn it and right he should. #welovewarrick

Llama
Next we are taken to Medusa's, aka Lana's hometown visit. What could be more worrisome than being caught up in a trance by Medusa? Meeting Medusa's mother perhaps?? I wish I could reach into the TV and slap some sense into Bachie! Though like I said in my last recap, since this disgenuine vibe I get from Llama....

 I just can't put a paper bag over the vibe and ignore it, can I?  I am pretty confident Llama leads a double lifestyle as a cat person. I don't have proof, its just the vibe. So I kinda suspected that we would be seeing something like this at her house...

But we did't {sad face}. Though Llama's mum is very intense and she cuts to the chase and whisks Bachie away to give him the royal interrogation, but not in the cellar!! Llama's mum is mostly concerned about Bachie making her precious daughter move away from her to horrible Melbourne. She basically wanted him to promise her that he would move to Sydney for Llama but he was brave and strong and wouldn't give in to her attempt to place another Medusa spell on him, powers must weaken with age.

Sarah

Well, let me think for a minute....

Then I got this sudden urge to paint my finger nails, which I hardly ever do which is kind of weird. Do you know how fascinating it is to watch your nail polish dry? While that was happening I did hear Sarah say she was worried that Bachie thought she was not interested in having children. She wanted to reassure him it's in her life plan, but after she travels and starts her own business. Interesting she felt the need to mention this. The date had a bit of a Nina vibe.

Snezanna

Our second hot favourite lives in Perth and we finally get to meet her daughter, Eve. She is such a cute girl and you can tell that their mother and daughter bond is very strong and in years to come their relationship will be like this...

Maybe Bachie will be in the picture too who knows? I feel like I have this connection with Snez. Not only are we both totally hot and likeable people, but we both love food and we be like...

and we aren't afraid to talk about it. I must add that I want to be friends with Snez so I can be invited to her place for dinner. Her family know how to put on a real meal, and it wasn't even Christmas! It was almost like this...

 Then Snez's brother takes Bachie out for a chitty chat and to play the over protective brother role and be like...

He keeps emphasising to Bachie that he is not just getting engaged to Snez, but he will be a dad to Eve and he will be part of the 'family'. Which freaks Bachie out, because he never thought about it like that before. Now he has to think harder which means we will have more beach thinking scenes, yay {kind of}.

Rose Ceremony

Finally we get a break from all the seriousness of the hometown dates but hang on, there is no laughing and drinking at this cocktail party. Unfortunately the tab was blown last show and it's all serious again and the ladies have their own thinking time in their pretty frocks. Then we heave a sigh of relief as all is good in the world because...

Osher in da house! Whoop Whoop!! But he is all serious too and I am starting to think maybe I should be serious about something...oh look my other hand of nails has completely dried! Then Osher lays down the mathematical language which is super cryptic tonight and I am feeling like ...

Osher isn't just a pretty face with amazing hair, he can teach you important stuff too! Then something weird happens. It's almost like the universe cracks or something. Sarah gets a rose, Snez gets rose, and then we are down to Heather and Llama. Bachie takes a very long time to verbalise his choice. It's almost like the producers want us to think he could change his mind at the last minute if he wanted to....yar as if! Then it happens! Bachie gives the final rose to Llama and the whole of Australia be like....

Maybe it is that time of month after all. #teamheatherforever!!


PS. I didn't have a #BachieTreat tonight, I wasn't feeling so good. I think it was kind of a good idea that I didn't because there was a chance I would have chucked it up when Heather didn't get her rose!!

Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 & 6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1& 2

The Bachelor Australia Recap Episode 10 and #BachieTreat

Episode 10
I am totally getting into this season for reals. I am now into writing separate posts for the episodes rather than combined. Something is wrong with me is it not?

While the sons and daughters of Australia adjust themselves to not having Her Royal Majesty Queen of Bachelordom and Hearts, Emily on screen anymore,  I start to worry that there is so many real life connections with my favourite movies and The Bachelor Australia that I have to consider there could be concern for Emily, since her dramatic exist fell on nobody's deaf ears....

Which I truly don't think would happen. Of course, you can't take a show like this too seriously, seriously.  With this exit though, my truest hopes of a Dallia and Tessa show down between Queen Em and Hippie Heather are now dimming and I am feeling a little depressed about it.

I worry about this for almost 10 seconds then I realise that Queen Em has left behind her loyal subject, HeyBro. It is so clear to me now that Queen Ems demands have been tattooed on Heybro's left butt cheek, last night when she went out to see if she was ok. Heybro spent an awfully long time out there with her and it is crystal clear she must fulfil the destiny that Queen Em failed to do. Heybro is so loyal, how could she fail? 

Osher arrives and it is clear one of the BachieGirls in their hysterical hungered state has broken out in the dead of night and eaten some of the mansion rations. A shirt was chosen. On the upside, he has two golden envelopes (to go with this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory theme suit last night). There will be two dates this episode, but will they be single or polygamist style? The first is a single date with Hippie Heather. Yay, she is still in the running.  The second envelope is a polygamist date with a dark twist. All the girls except Sarah and Hippie Heather are invited. 

Group Date

The dark twist is really just a dinner date in the dark. So they can discover their true selves and act all Avatar and 'really see' each other with their hearing and smelling senses, let's hope they all had time to shower. This date ends up being a little boring so the BachieGirls decide to spice it up a little by knocking over drinks and squealing about it. Tinkerbell (she is the blond intruder) shows her age by finding their behaviour oh so childish and is so "roll of the eyes"unimpressed. When BachieWood throws her a life line and asks her opinion she tells him, she will give her opinion if she feels she has one. That went down like a lead balloon and Bachie decides that his one on one time will go to sister-girlfriend Llama (oh how I try to type her name and it keeps coming up that way!) who totally turned him on when she fed him noodles and prawn crackers.Naturally the BachieGirls are totes frustrated by this decision. How dare she steal 'THEIR' man from them. Who does she think she is?

  

So Bachie takes Llama on a single and ever so boring date. It is clear she loves to smile and offer as little conversation as it is possible, what does she have to hide?  She does ask him if he saw her at a party would he approach her and speak to her? My concern at this point is she is asking him a question he has to answer in the nicest way possible. Who is this lady? Is she a diluted version of Sandragon with crazy eyes? If she is wearing pink in the next episode it will become all too clear.

Single Date

Hippie Heather scores the single date and after she was dumped by Osher in a NISSAN on the side of a country road, she desperately hopes Bachie will follow through and pick her up. He does and its in style. He is driving a Mr Whippy ice cream van (it could be an old NISSAN model, I am not sure). It is at this point that I hope that Hippie Heather can eat her weight in ice cream to keep her going for the rest of the show.  Bachie drives her to a secret garden style setting where a table is decked out in an edible Alice in Wonderland style buffet of delights. Bachie has the chocolatier come out to acknowledge his skills, because lets face it, Bachie slaves away all his available time (after workouts) to plan and organise every single square detail of these dates he takes his sister-girlfriends on but being asked to make and create edible delights is really just pushing it. Let's give the man a break! I am saddened to discover that they only eat a couple of  things. Why go to the effort for them to only eat a few items? It is becoming clear, Bachie likes his girls lean. Maybe the rations are not enforced by Channel 10? Maybe Bachie wont  propose to a "plus size" lady? Total douche! This is when I so wish I was working on The Bachelor, I would hoe down that table in no time and blog about it until the cows come home!! 

Time to go inside for some romantic time.This is when Hippie Heather drops her guard completely and actually appears to have totally fallen in love with Bachie. The sisterhood of TheBachelorau freak out! Is she falling too soon? Does he really love her back or is he just totally prepping for the next notch on his belt? Only time will tell, though he did give her a rose, which is a promising sign. 

Cocktail Party

There is a clear division at this point between NewBachieGirls and OriginalBachieGirls. Tinkerbell doesn't have time for it she be like....

Heybro is all perplexed about how Llama is getting more attention with Bachie and she be like... 

But I think Heybro is literally freaking out that she hasn't pulled off the tattooed promise that Queen Emily has left her with. That tattoo is there for life to remind her of her failure, not just with BachieWood, but to Queen Emily. Oh the shame to behold! What will become of her if she returns to Queen Emily empty handed.The hair she was supposed to rip out of Nina or/both Hippie Heather's head/s when she attacked them commando style, are still in their heads and not in her hands. How will she explain it so she will understand? Can she be too obvious or will she just freak out because all she can see in her desperate mind be like....

 I just hoped for Heybro's sake that Bachie wouldn't put her through the ceremony, but he did. Good luck Heybro, I so hope Her Royal Majesty of Bachelordom and Hearts her Highness Queen Emily isn't what the cameras made her out to be. 

Bachie Treat

It was so fitting that tonight's episode featured chocolate because I like chocolate too!

Recap Episode 9

Recap Episode 7&8

Recap Episode 5&6

Recap Episode 4

Recap Episode 3

Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Episode 9 Recap and Bachie Treat

Episode 9 
Was so glad that my flight got me home in time to watch The Bachelor live tonight (WYKWIM). So the last couple of episodes we are seeing Emily relax a bit and show her true colours. We thought maybe it was just QLDGirl having a negative influence on her, but it is possible to say it could have been Emily who was influencing her? Either way you look at it, Emily's true colours are not 50 shades of grey. If she was wearing a mood ring I think it would show the colours of black, red, and orange, which apparently mean she is stressed, nervous, and troubled or unsettled. Which is a very nice way of saying, she no play nice. I so wished Emily was a nice girl with the qualities of Parmie. She is a such pretty girl, but even BachieWood saw through her, which is pretty good work for Bachie.

Single Date
Anyway, Bec scores a single date with Bachie. I think he was personally more stoked about going indoor skydiving than being with Bec, this was just a feeling I had, but as the date progressed I knew I read his body language right. Bachie Wood sends Bec home from their date. I was not saddened by this exit at all. Bec is a bit of a swinger. I don't mean that in how it sounds. I mean that she swings from MeanGirl camp to NiceGirl camp, which in the rules of sisterhood, is not allowed and it basically means she is a dirtystreetspy and can't be trusted.

Annnnd, I kinda figured out she didn't really like him all that much.Not falling in love with the guy and living in a mansion with food rations and sharing dishes with girls who had pash time with the man you realise you are not falling in love with was getting a bit too much to handle.

While those of you who care shed a tear for Bec's departure we are all shocked to discover that BachieWood can make pancakes. He surprises the girls at the mansion which previous to his arrival has been on food rations. Imagine their excitement when he reveals he is going to make pancakes for them and they can actually eat then and have ice cream too, how nawty! Bachie is a bit disappointed with Emily who takes a long to time to swoon over him in her breakfast scarf. He is starting to worry. Can he picture himself waking up to her each morning for the rest of his life to that annoying breakfast scarf?

Single Date No.2
Single date time again (rules are being stretched in this episode) and Sarah scores this one. She is ferried over to his personal boat house shed, because he has a boat, doesn't he? Bachie then thinks it would be so tops to test Sarah's wine tasting skills. Has he forgotten that she is on mansion food rations, but drinking wine is not forbidden, in fact its an all you can drink affair and if they try to consume anything that is not red or white they are given Cinderella duties or even worse choosing crappy shirts for Osher?  Sarah proves the mansion all-you-can-drink wine training is successful and wins the Bachie wine tasting test hands down. He is so impressed he wants to pash her, but she no keen. Finally he produces a red rose which means she has to kiss him, he got dem moves!! Though it's clear there is no sizzle in this lame-o kiss. Me thinks she is in it to win it, not the man!

Cocktail Party
Cocktail party time and when Osher walks in all I can think of is, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Which is such a tease to girls who are on food rations and only get to drink wine. Does wine and chocolate go together??

Hold your wine glasses ladies, (and your boobs, as they may just fall out tonight) there is an intense shock install for you this evening. The intruders are coming {que twilight zone music}. Apparently this is a shock to BachieWood too. Like me, he didn't watched last season, so he had no idea there were going to be intruders.

Intruder number one has brown hair, does yoga, and her name is Lana, which auto correct keeps saying is Llama. Who can argue with auto correct, it's always correct right? So Llama has big eyes, kind of like a llama I suppose, so auto correct does know all! I can't remember much else about her.

When intruder number two arrives (it feels a little bit like Big Brother meets Perfect Match, but there is no sliding door, just a car door, and I wish Osher really was Dexter!) all I can think of is Tinkerbell. I don't recall what her name is, so Tinkerbell it is. Then I find out she is a food blogger. Gee whizz, where is her camera? Trash it now sister, you can't take pictures of food that doesn't exist. How many different angles can you take a picture of a glass of wine? I suppose we will find out.

It is very clear from the arrival of the intruders that Emily is no happy. So Bachie takes her aside to see how she feels about things. Emily's guard is really down and she lays it out in red, orange, and black. Emily is so confident that she has Bachie wrapped around her lipstick that she let's go of all her inner thoughts, that unfortunately Ems, sounds a bit on the unpleasant side. You are definitely coming across as a real Mean Girl. As Bachie be all like ....

But Emily no compute, how can he say such things to me, and she be like:

Rose Ceremony
We then cut to the rose ceremony where Bachie shocks all the girls and gives roses to the newbies. The final two are Emily and Nina. Then the whole of Australia are transfixed by the dramatic exist of Emily. She doesn't wait for Bachie to announce who loses, she dashes dramatically out right past him, close enough for him to grab her if he wanted to, but he just watches her leave, it is priceless. Her dramatic exit only has an effect on HeyBro who dutifully seeks permission from  Sam if she can go and talk to her.  He's all like, what evs Heybro, I have a rose ceremony to complete. He gives the rose to Nina, to which he adds was intended for her anyway.  Then Heybro be like.

Peace out!

PS, no #BachieTreat tonight. I was getting over jet lag!

Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2