The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 13 Recap and #BachieTreat

Episode 13

Things are heating up in the Bachie Mansion and Bachie has made a decision on behalf of his girlfriends, as that is what the head boyfriend does for his harem. Though, let me think about this for a moment, wouldn't it be so tops to have a man decide where you are going to stay/sleep, where you are going on your dates, and what you are going to eat? Oh,yes, it sounds like an utopian paradise!! That Bachie, I will have to explain, since you like your woman smarter than you, is hell to the modern woman!!

So at the 'holiday' beach mansion, as opposed to the 'work' city mansion the BachieGirls are informed they will be each spending some alone time with Bachie. Before I go on, what is going on with The Bachelor Australia? The last couple of The Bachelor US episodes I watched they went to Europe and Tahiti! Why do these girls only get a 'holiday' beach mansion? What is wrong with stingy Australian television stations? These girls go on the show and are only compensated with 'mansions' in the city and at the beach? What the heck? The US Survivor wins $1M and the Australian one gets $250K? what is wrong with Australian reality TV game shows?? What evs, rant over.....for nows!

At the 'holiday' beach mansion, each girl will get their time to plead their case to  spend time with Bachie and share their true feelings and how much they think he is totes awesome, blah, blah, blah! I think he seriously wants them to know that...

He also reveals another secret he has kept especially, for this episode. He likes his women to be smarter than him. She has to be like...

Anyway, Llama gets the first date and they go to the golfing range because that describes who she is in a nutshell. She does a power swing and hits the target, which I hope is all she is going to hit in this episode. Just in secret I feel a bit like this...

but Bachie gave her a rose so she is still here. Then he decides to ask a tough question (remember he isn't as smart as his future girlfriend), why is Llama still single? She begins to freak out because all she can think is I don't want to tell him...

                                and...

It is at this point I want to slap this man out of this Medusa trance she has him in. That kiss she gave him reeks of disgenuity (yes autocorrect, its a word! Dur!). She also said she would date you, not marry you! Is that not what this show is all about? Wake up you crazy man from this Medusa trance, wake up!

Next single date is with Snez, Parmie, Parmagania, or also know to her family as Snezanna. Things are getting intense so Snez decides to show him the picture of her daughter and its like...

Heather and Bachie seem to always have fun but I am worried for Heather. Why does he not open mouth kiss her? She be like..

Bachie zones out at one point with these conflicting feelings that Heather feels like...

As for Sarah's alone date, well this is how I feel about that...

Which brings us to lucky last Nina. Poor Nina, she has been hanging on by the tips of her fingers. We all know she is going home tonight. The date the producers set up for them was yelling this loud and clear. Who wouldn't want to go fishing on a supposedly romantic date? It's every women's fantasy to catch a smelly fish with her hunky man by her side, isn't it? Though, he wasn't by her side. I think they had to get out the old tin cans and string to make sure their conversations were heard by each other. The date increased in awkwardness the longer they were together even the pashing couch didn't get any action. While Nina pleaded (yes she pleaded) her case to Bachie as to why she would make the awesomest girlfriend and future wifey ever, I did feel the question in her mind really was...

Cocktail Party

I won't bore you with more show antics, like when Bachie told the lovely ladies that....

...and he wouldn't be approaching them for chitty chats, they'd have to approach him. Llama practically pounced on him, her cats at home will be so proud of her! Then Snez snagged some time. Then Bachie disappeared and we didn't see him again until the rose ceremony.  Enter our favourite non-Bachie ever...

Osher in da house!! Whoop Whoop!! Did you know Osher is fluent in mathematical type language? He is the only man who can explain difficult mathematical rose equations so I totally understand, and I am most certain that he be like...

So Nina doesn't get a rose, like we didn't see that coming! As she leaves the house she be like..

Then when things have calmed down she be like....

Tomorrow's episodes are the home dates, where Bachie meets the parents and other family members. Personally I think the BachieGirls are beside themselves with glee that they get to eat again, they be like.....

#BachieTreat

A couple episodes late, but its my chocolate Mr Whippy Vegan style. I will post the recipe soon. 

Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Recap Episode 11 and #BachieTreat

Episode 11

So this episode be like....

Excuse me while I wipe away the spit dribble and wake up properly from my slumber. This really was a very slow paced episode. I do recall some interesting moments which I shall share.

The group date included the whole gang. Bachie has set this up pretty well. Will my BachieGirl be able to not just be adored by children, but work in the "family business" when she accepts my marriage proposal? It seemed like it was a job interview to me. While the sisterhood swoons over Bachie and his child whispering ways, Nina's internal flame is combusting over her hatred for Tinkerbell. These two do NOT, I repeat do NOT like each other. The Dallia and Tessa show down I prophetically conjured up for Emily and Nina (or Heather) could actually come to fruition with Tinkerbell and Nina or Nina and Llama. There's two opportunities and personally I'm not fussed which happens, I'm just keen to see it go down! Tinkerbell is an interesting character. She doesn't like to interact with other women, she's not too keen on little people, she doesn't like social activities that include other people and she doesn't like balls! Who is this person? She be like....

But we be like....

I thought maybe Tinkerbell was just having a bad couple of days, as it could very well be that time of the month. Well lets face it a house full women, they're bound to sync at some point. But gee whiz, this girl has a lot of verbal gas to expel and she isn't shy in letting it loose!

Nina is also not happy because she has not been on a single date since her last single date where she had to break the on screen pash record. However my thoughts go to the original Rachel who was strung along by Bachie and NEVER got a single date. Let's be fair Nina, you at least have had some alone time with the man and even though the kiss was forced, at least you got it. Nina is not just cranky pants about this, but like I said before, she is not so keen on the new intruder girls. I think her thoughts of Tinkerbell go a little like this....

 and I think she feels a little bit like this toward Llama....

 Personally, I am not keen on Llama, there is something really "disgenuine" about her (thanks Queen Ems for introducing me to this new word). I really thought with the exit of Heybro that the MeanGirl alliance was over but it seems that Llama has appointed herself to the throne and she has taken on Tinkerball as her jester.


Single Date  
Llama scores the single date and we get to know all about her. She has travelled, she knows Spanish and she knows where the quarantine station is in Sydney and Bachie thinks she is amazing! How talented to know where the quarantine station is, she is so learned and worldly I want to be her friend! But I feel conflicted with these worrisome thoughts about how disgenuine she is. All this being said, I still feel there is something not quite right about this date. I'm concerned that Llama gives off a scent that makes Bachie act weird and not think right when he is in her presence. It is almost like she be like

and while he stares into her eyes she puts a trance on him, he doesn't turn to stone but she makes him give her a rose. Anyway, that might seem a bit far fetched but it could happen....it could! ;)

Cocktail Party
Enter Llama gleaming with her red rose and she can't wait to off load her salty experience into Nina's gashing wounds. But the girls all be like...

Tell someone who cares Llama, your Bachie trance doesn't work on us! So anyway, the shock horror drama that the ads have been building up to is about to take place at the rose ceremony. Osher in the house he be like...

He informs us that Bachie has been challenged this week with this decision about sending yet another BachieGirl home. Really Osher? You are trying to convince us that Bachie is wanting to keep Tinkerbell on and see how wild her personality blooms or festers depending on how you take her? We know that Llama has a rose so she is safe to fight it out another week with her bestie Bachie Girlfriends. Heather gets a rose and Parmie does too. All of a sudden I don't give too hoots who is next to get a rose or who is going home. The only BachieGirls I care about are safe. Then it happens, Bachie gets the cue from his ear piece to get all nervous and awkward. The producers then start yelling so loudly at him in his ear piece that he is not making a decision quick enough, he excuses himself and he be like...

Lucky for Bachie, Osher is there to save the day and make everything right in the Bachie Mansion, what would Bachie do with himself if he didn't have Osher telling him....

With such wisdom, how could Bachie not make the best decision of his life? He gives all three remaining girls a rose. Good Work Osher, now we really get to see what Tinkerbell has to offer!!

Bachie Treat
I decided to make this homemade ice cream which is dairy free and pretty much vegan friendly. I will post a separate post for the recipe.

Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Recap Episode 10 and #BachieTreat

Episode 10
I am totally getting into this season for reals. I am now into writing separate posts for the episodes rather than combined. Something is wrong with me is it not?

While the sons and daughters of Australia adjust themselves to not having Her Royal Majesty Queen of Bachelordom and Hearts, Emily on screen anymore,  I start to worry that there is so many real life connections with my favourite movies and The Bachelor Australia that I have to consider there could be concern for Emily, since her dramatic exist fell on nobody's deaf ears....

Which I truly don't think would happen. Of course, you can't take a show like this too seriously, seriously.  With this exit though, my truest hopes of a Dallia and Tessa show down between Queen Em and Hippie Heather are now dimming and I am feeling a little depressed about it.

I worry about this for almost 10 seconds then I realise that Queen Em has left behind her loyal subject, HeyBro. It is so clear to me now that Queen Ems demands have been tattooed on Heybro's left butt cheek, last night when she went out to see if she was ok. Heybro spent an awfully long time out there with her and it is crystal clear she must fulfil the destiny that Queen Em failed to do. Heybro is so loyal, how could she fail? 

Osher arrives and it is clear one of the BachieGirls in their hysterical hungered state has broken out in the dead of night and eaten some of the mansion rations. A shirt was chosen. On the upside, he has two golden envelopes (to go with this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory theme suit last night). There will be two dates this episode, but will they be single or polygamist style? The first is a single date with Hippie Heather. Yay, she is still in the running.  The second envelope is a polygamist date with a dark twist. All the girls except Sarah and Hippie Heather are invited. 

Group Date

The dark twist is really just a dinner date in the dark. So they can discover their true selves and act all Avatar and 'really see' each other with their hearing and smelling senses, let's hope they all had time to shower. This date ends up being a little boring so the BachieGirls decide to spice it up a little by knocking over drinks and squealing about it. Tinkerbell (she is the blond intruder) shows her age by finding their behaviour oh so childish and is so "roll of the eyes"unimpressed. When BachieWood throws her a life line and asks her opinion she tells him, she will give her opinion if she feels she has one. That went down like a lead balloon and Bachie decides that his one on one time will go to sister-girlfriend Llama (oh how I try to type her name and it keeps coming up that way!) who totally turned him on when she fed him noodles and prawn crackers.Naturally the BachieGirls are totes frustrated by this decision. How dare she steal 'THEIR' man from them. Who does she think she is?

  

So Bachie takes Llama on a single and ever so boring date. It is clear she loves to smile and offer as little conversation as it is possible, what does she have to hide?  She does ask him if he saw her at a party would he approach her and speak to her? My concern at this point is she is asking him a question he has to answer in the nicest way possible. Who is this lady? Is she a diluted version of Sandragon with crazy eyes? If she is wearing pink in the next episode it will become all too clear.

Single Date

Hippie Heather scores the single date and after she was dumped by Osher in a NISSAN on the side of a country road, she desperately hopes Bachie will follow through and pick her up. He does and its in style. He is driving a Mr Whippy ice cream van (it could be an old NISSAN model, I am not sure). It is at this point that I hope that Hippie Heather can eat her weight in ice cream to keep her going for the rest of the show.  Bachie drives her to a secret garden style setting where a table is decked out in an edible Alice in Wonderland style buffet of delights. Bachie has the chocolatier come out to acknowledge his skills, because lets face it, Bachie slaves away all his available time (after workouts) to plan and organise every single square detail of these dates he takes his sister-girlfriends on but being asked to make and create edible delights is really just pushing it. Let's give the man a break! I am saddened to discover that they only eat a couple of  things. Why go to the effort for them to only eat a few items? It is becoming clear, Bachie likes his girls lean. Maybe the rations are not enforced by Channel 10? Maybe Bachie wont  propose to a "plus size" lady? Total douche! This is when I so wish I was working on The Bachelor, I would hoe down that table in no time and blog about it until the cows come home!! 

Time to go inside for some romantic time.This is when Hippie Heather drops her guard completely and actually appears to have totally fallen in love with Bachie. The sisterhood of TheBachelorau freak out! Is she falling too soon? Does he really love her back or is he just totally prepping for the next notch on his belt? Only time will tell, though he did give her a rose, which is a promising sign. 

Cocktail Party

There is a clear division at this point between NewBachieGirls and OriginalBachieGirls. Tinkerbell doesn't have time for it she be like....

Heybro is all perplexed about how Llama is getting more attention with Bachie and she be like... 

But I think Heybro is literally freaking out that she hasn't pulled off the tattooed promise that Queen Emily has left her with. That tattoo is there for life to remind her of her failure, not just with BachieWood, but to Queen Emily. Oh the shame to behold! What will become of her if she returns to Queen Emily empty handed.The hair she was supposed to rip out of Nina or/both Hippie Heather's head/s when she attacked them commando style, are still in their heads and not in her hands. How will she explain it so she will understand? Can she be too obvious or will she just freak out because all she can see in her desperate mind be like....

 I just hoped for Heybro's sake that Bachie wouldn't put her through the ceremony, but he did. Good luck Heybro, I so hope Her Royal Majesty of Bachelordom and Hearts her Highness Queen Emily isn't what the cameras made her out to be. 

Bachie Treat

It was so fitting that tonight's episode featured chocolate because I like chocolate too!

Recap Episode 9

Recap Episode 7&8

Recap Episode 5&6

Recap Episode 4

Recap Episode 3

Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Episodes 7&8 and #BachieTreat

This week I only watched Episode 7 as the following day I was on a flight to Malaysia with my husband for a business trip and due to VPN Zone restrictions, I couldn't watch the recaps while I was away. I had to wait to catch up when I go back. That being said here is my recap.

Episode 7 

The Farm themed group date. Lots of alcohol is consumed, shock horror! Hardly any food is consumed, so not shock horror! Snez and Bachie pash. QLDGirl gets her knickers in a knot and gets all whiney which is not be confused tonight with winey,  because she doesn't click with Bachie. QLDGirl goes home.

Bachie Treat

Sea Salt Caramel Artisan Popcorn {must be said in a posh accent}


Episode 8
Snez and BachieWood go on a single date and the most important issue of the series is properly addressed. Snez is taken back with the fact that she has food she can actually devour on camera. It is clear she has been starved for days because it is all she can talk about. She totally loads that pizza with as much protein that will sustain her for the days ahead of her, she got the smarts! When that Star Wars Ship dessert comes out, I can see it in her eyes, because I too have that look, " Back of Sam, I own this dessert, don't touch it, its mine"! But because she is a gracious and classy lady, she allows him a bite or two for show. Though when he asks her to put the dessert down to offer her the rose, you can catch her shoving in the last mouthful, she ain't letting it go to waste, she has to eat every last scrap before she goes back to Mansion rations.  She accepts the rose and is safe but can't help thinking and  secretly hoping she can scoff another Star Wars dessert or anything for that matter before she heads back to the dreaded Mansion/Girl Prison.

Poor Rachel didn't get a rose tonight. I so wished my rumer would prove to be correct. I spread it all over twitter with all my awesome followers. I felt so strongly that Rachel and Bachie were meeting up for midnight pashes. Why else was she dragged tagged along for so many episodes with no single date or conversations - at least on camera? That was quite an unfair play by Sam. Tag her along, give a girl hope, then ignore her! Maybe he is a dirtystreetpie? ( since I didn't watch last year's season I have no idea what a dirtystreetpie is, but it sounds dirty and this is how I felt about Sam tonight)

Bachie Treat
On the night this episode was airing in Australia, I was devouring a large meal at TGIFridays near my hotel. I didn't take a photo.