The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Recap Finale

Episode 15

A very belated recap of the final two seasons. Life has been unkind with sickness and crazy children. I was absent for the majority of this episode airing but my Twitter friends basically said not much happened. I really should have taken their word for it. However I still felt the need to watch it on TenPlay. Here is what I thought about this episode.

Sarah was sent home and I so wish her exit went a little like this...

Episode 16 - FINALE

Many are thinking that Llama, who I feel is a little disgenuine and I am positive has a herd of cats living in her cellar at home, is going to be proposed to. But in my heart of hearts, at the beginning of this episode, I am seriously hoping that he proposes to Snez. She is a classy and attractive woman who openly loves food, what more could a man want? My husband is happy with this!!

We watch Bachie have a thinkie think about his task ahead, when in all honesty I am hoping he will break out into a...

A dancey dance would be so much more entertaining than a thinky think all the time. But I do have to remember that BachieWood has a big task on his hands and we should give him the chance to....

Anyway, each girl is bought home to meet Bachie's family. I really felt as though Snez had a great connection with his dad but then Llama seemed to have a good connection with his sister. The battle was on, Snez made his dad cry versus Llama who made his sister cry.

Bachie takes each of his girls on separate dates (thank goodness, it wasn't a final group date, that would have been awks). He leaves all of us thinking it could be either lady as he pashes both intensely. But only one girl can win, unless he has thoughts of moving overseas and joining the FLDS (think Sister Wives).

Anyway, we are brought back to the Bachie Mansion where there is a tonne of candles burning away in every nook and cranny that a burning candle can be placed. What is with the flamin' (punny) candles in this show? Did a producer find a shipping container of candles on Ebay for .99c and thought they would be funny and bid and accidentally win? I am so over candles, they no longer have a romantic connection for me...

While I fume about this sad reality, I am settled when my favourite non-Bachie shows up...

Osher in da house! Whoop Whoop!! But them my glee turns into sadness, because there is no dirty rose ceremony math to share. What else does he do, if he doesn't talk rose ceremony math?? He says something, but without numbers, it is meaningless to me. When he finally leaves, no doubt to hit the math books in preparation for the next season, I realise that the car that rolls up will be the girl who doesn't get the rose. Please be crazy cat person, please be crazy cat person....and it is!! Yeeehaa!! I am so glad he has made the right choice!! But then I do have a moment of sadness for poor Llama, no doubt she did feel like that ring was meant to be hers.  Bachie's break up speech went a little like this I think...

No doubt Llama if she could have her time back she would have been a bit like...

 or...

It's ok Llama, as I am pretty sure you are a crazy cat person in your 'real' life you can go  home to the comfort of your cellar cats again and be like....

It's all good Llama, you will find a man who will embrace those cats and will let you choose your own ring!!!

Then all sounds fade as Snez arrives and we all know what is going to happen next. Bachie gets out his {let's face it people it was unattractive} #ZAMELS ring and is all like....

So now it's like:
Sam and Snez sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a(nother) baby sitting in a carriage!!!

Recap Episode 14
Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 & 6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1& 2

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 14 Recap and no #BachieTreat

Episode 14

I am still in a bit of shock over last night's episode. I decided to sleep on my thoughts and think about how I should approach this recap. I was raised, like many other children, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. That wisdom lasts until you get your period, or you're pregnant, or you give birth. Lucky for me its not that time of the month and I am not with child, so giving myself a day to ponder my approach really did the trick!

Hometown Visits

H-bomb Heather
We see Straya's hot favourite Heather bring Bachie to QLD. We don't get to see the best of Brisvegas, instead she takes him first to see a mountain while we watch them sip tea and watch pretty scones sit all lined up and pretty by themselves and untouched. Heather shares her family tale with him. This is a very serious point in the show and we love her more for it. Then she takes him down to the farm to meet Warrick. Warrick is a special man, he is not her father but he is a father figure in Heather's life. You can tell when you meet him that he is fully sick hard yakka, he won't beat around the bush (punny) and he will be challenging Bachie for all the right reasons. I like Warrick and he reminds me of..

and....

It is clear to me that Warrick is not accepting Bachie into he circle of trust too quickly. He has to earn it and right he should. #welovewarrick

Llama
Next we are taken to Medusa's, aka Lana's hometown visit. What could be more worrisome than being caught up in a trance by Medusa? Meeting Medusa's mother perhaps?? I wish I could reach into the TV and slap some sense into Bachie! Though like I said in my last recap, since this disgenuine vibe I get from Llama....

 I just can't put a paper bag over the vibe and ignore it, can I?  I am pretty confident Llama leads a double lifestyle as a cat person. I don't have proof, its just the vibe. So I kinda suspected that we would be seeing something like this at her house...

But we did't {sad face}. Though Llama's mum is very intense and she cuts to the chase and whisks Bachie away to give him the royal interrogation, but not in the cellar!! Llama's mum is mostly concerned about Bachie making her precious daughter move away from her to horrible Melbourne. She basically wanted him to promise her that he would move to Sydney for Llama but he was brave and strong and wouldn't give in to her attempt to place another Medusa spell on him, powers must weaken with age.

Sarah

Well, let me think for a minute....

Then I got this sudden urge to paint my finger nails, which I hardly ever do which is kind of weird. Do you know how fascinating it is to watch your nail polish dry? While that was happening I did hear Sarah say she was worried that Bachie thought she was not interested in having children. She wanted to reassure him it's in her life plan, but after she travels and starts her own business. Interesting she felt the need to mention this. The date had a bit of a Nina vibe.

Snezanna

Our second hot favourite lives in Perth and we finally get to meet her daughter, Eve. She is such a cute girl and you can tell that their mother and daughter bond is very strong and in years to come their relationship will be like this...

Maybe Bachie will be in the picture too who knows? I feel like I have this connection with Snez. Not only are we both totally hot and likeable people, but we both love food and we be like...

and we aren't afraid to talk about it. I must add that I want to be friends with Snez so I can be invited to her place for dinner. Her family know how to put on a real meal, and it wasn't even Christmas! It was almost like this...

 Then Snez's brother takes Bachie out for a chitty chat and to play the over protective brother role and be like...

He keeps emphasising to Bachie that he is not just getting engaged to Snez, but he will be a dad to Eve and he will be part of the 'family'. Which freaks Bachie out, because he never thought about it like that before. Now he has to think harder which means we will have more beach thinking scenes, yay {kind of}.

Rose Ceremony

Finally we get a break from all the seriousness of the hometown dates but hang on, there is no laughing and drinking at this cocktail party. Unfortunately the tab was blown last show and it's all serious again and the ladies have their own thinking time in their pretty frocks. Then we heave a sigh of relief as all is good in the world because...

Osher in da house! Whoop Whoop!! But he is all serious too and I am starting to think maybe I should be serious about something...oh look my other hand of nails has completely dried! Then Osher lays down the mathematical language which is super cryptic tonight and I am feeling like ...

Osher isn't just a pretty face with amazing hair, he can teach you important stuff too! Then something weird happens. It's almost like the universe cracks or something. Sarah gets a rose, Snez gets rose, and then we are down to Heather and Llama. Bachie takes a very long time to verbalise his choice. It's almost like the producers want us to think he could change his mind at the last minute if he wanted to....yar as if! Then it happens! Bachie gives the final rose to Llama and the whole of Australia be like....

Maybe it is that time of month after all. #teamheatherforever!!


PS. I didn't have a #BachieTreat tonight, I wasn't feeling so good. I think it was kind of a good idea that I didn't because there was a chance I would have chucked it up when Heather didn't get her rose!!

Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 & 6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1& 2

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 13 Recap and #BachieTreat

Episode 13

Things are heating up in the Bachie Mansion and Bachie has made a decision on behalf of his girlfriends, as that is what the head boyfriend does for his harem. Though, let me think about this for a moment, wouldn't it be so tops to have a man decide where you are going to stay/sleep, where you are going on your dates, and what you are going to eat? Oh,yes, it sounds like an utopian paradise!! That Bachie, I will have to explain, since you like your woman smarter than you, is hell to the modern woman!!

So at the 'holiday' beach mansion, as opposed to the 'work' city mansion the BachieGirls are informed they will be each spending some alone time with Bachie. Before I go on, what is going on with The Bachelor Australia? The last couple of The Bachelor US episodes I watched they went to Europe and Tahiti! Why do these girls only get a 'holiday' beach mansion? What is wrong with stingy Australian television stations? These girls go on the show and are only compensated with 'mansions' in the city and at the beach? What the heck? The US Survivor wins $1M and the Australian one gets $250K? what is wrong with Australian reality TV game shows?? What evs, rant over.....for nows!

At the 'holiday' beach mansion, each girl will get their time to plead their case to  spend time with Bachie and share their true feelings and how much they think he is totes awesome, blah, blah, blah! I think he seriously wants them to know that...

He also reveals another secret he has kept especially, for this episode. He likes his women to be smarter than him. She has to be like...

Anyway, Llama gets the first date and they go to the golfing range because that describes who she is in a nutshell. She does a power swing and hits the target, which I hope is all she is going to hit in this episode. Just in secret I feel a bit like this...

but Bachie gave her a rose so she is still here. Then he decides to ask a tough question (remember he isn't as smart as his future girlfriend), why is Llama still single? She begins to freak out because all she can think is I don't want to tell him...

                                and...

It is at this point I want to slap this man out of this Medusa trance she has him in. That kiss she gave him reeks of disgenuity (yes autocorrect, its a word! Dur!). She also said she would date you, not marry you! Is that not what this show is all about? Wake up you crazy man from this Medusa trance, wake up!

Next single date is with Snez, Parmie, Parmagania, or also know to her family as Snezanna. Things are getting intense so Snez decides to show him the picture of her daughter and its like...

Heather and Bachie seem to always have fun but I am worried for Heather. Why does he not open mouth kiss her? She be like..

Bachie zones out at one point with these conflicting feelings that Heather feels like...

As for Sarah's alone date, well this is how I feel about that...

Which brings us to lucky last Nina. Poor Nina, she has been hanging on by the tips of her fingers. We all know she is going home tonight. The date the producers set up for them was yelling this loud and clear. Who wouldn't want to go fishing on a supposedly romantic date? It's every women's fantasy to catch a smelly fish with her hunky man by her side, isn't it? Though, he wasn't by her side. I think they had to get out the old tin cans and string to make sure their conversations were heard by each other. The date increased in awkwardness the longer they were together even the pashing couch didn't get any action. While Nina pleaded (yes she pleaded) her case to Bachie as to why she would make the awesomest girlfriend and future wifey ever, I did feel the question in her mind really was...

Cocktail Party

I won't bore you with more show antics, like when Bachie told the lovely ladies that....

...and he wouldn't be approaching them for chitty chats, they'd have to approach him. Llama practically pounced on him, her cats at home will be so proud of her! Then Snez snagged some time. Then Bachie disappeared and we didn't see him again until the rose ceremony.  Enter our favourite non-Bachie ever...

Osher in da house!! Whoop Whoop!! Did you know Osher is fluent in mathematical type language? He is the only man who can explain difficult mathematical rose equations so I totally understand, and I am most certain that he be like...

So Nina doesn't get a rose, like we didn't see that coming! As she leaves the house she be like..

Then when things have calmed down she be like....

Tomorrow's episodes are the home dates, where Bachie meets the parents and other family members. Personally I think the BachieGirls are beside themselves with glee that they get to eat again, they be like.....

#BachieTreat

A couple episodes late, but its my chocolate Mr Whippy Vegan style. I will post the recipe soon. 

Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Season 3 Episode 12 Recap and #BachieTreat

Episode 12

You might recall on one of the previous episodes where Bachie took Sarah to taste some wine near "his" boat house. I wondered back then if he had a boat, and this episode cleared it all up for me. It's not a boat per say, coz he's not that rich yet. It's a kayak. He keeps his kayak in the boat house, of course!

Thanks to the awesomeness that is Osher we get to spend another episode getting to know the real on-screen Rachel aka Tinkerbell. She is an odd character to put it nicely. She isn't much of a people person in fact, she be like...

She has made it perfectly clear that she is not on this show to make friends with the BachieGirls. Not only has she spelled that out to us, the viewers, and her BachieGirlfriends but if anyone missed her verbal release her icy cold body language and facial cues seal the deal. Her main reason for being on the show, I think is to get her man, I think.  I'm not too sure about this because she doesn't even seem too interested in Bachie either. I think she was all hoping for Bachie to fall all over her, and when he didn't she spaced out, like literally.  At their first meeting if it went a little bit like this,

then we would think, because this happened in a movie, there could be an actual chance between Bachie and Tinkerbell, but it didn't so it didn't.


Group Date
Bachie was super generous this week and invited the harem to this date. They are taken by #NISSANS to an "arty district" where a trendy warehouse art gallery place thingy, with awesome big doors awaits them. Bachie likes "culcha" and he wants to share this with his BachieGirls. It is here they are paired up to create a clay 'sculpcha' of Bachie. As bad luck would have it, Sarah was standing next to Tinkerbell, and she be thinking..

But she was a good sport and they created their 'sculpcha' of a shirtless Bachie laying on the pashing couch, which according to Tinkerbell, was the main feature in her mind!? What evs! Then the BachieGirls had to draw a charcoal portrait of Bachie, though the face wasn't included in this art piece, it was more the shirtless form. Bachie was also wearing 'Calvin Klein' undies but seriously, you aren't a real man unless you are wearing 'Ellen' undies so he gets another strike from me! The BachieGirl who draws a creation that reaches Bachie's inner heart full of "culcha" wins some alone time. Lucky for Bachie, as he had no idea whose picture belonged to who, chose Parmie's art work. He chose it because he liked how the picture shows Bachie how he sees himself. Which means a well proportioned chiseled male form, he is so modest.  I have to add though her picture was pretty darn good.

There was also a bit of time for Bachie to have some catch up time with Tinkerbell and get to know her better. This is where the brothers and sisters of Australia be like..

It is clear to us that Bachie was nor impressed with his stretch of alone and fascinatingly uncomfortable discourse with Tinkerbell, but I think she was a bit like....

After that uncomfortable encounter we are taken to Parmie and Bachie's  alone time date and it's during this cuddly together time that Bachie asks the big question. Will Parmie move to Melbourne to be with her man? She shocked the sisterhood of Australia by saying she would. Bachie be like,

 I think he was hoping she would be resistant to moving, and thus making his decision making easier. But Bachie, you naive child you. You are talking to women and things are never going to be straight forward and easy.

Single Date
Sarah scores yet another single date with Bachie. Nina is not so happy and neither are the intruders. I could explain what happens on this date but unfortunately....

Cocktail Party
Sarah gets back from her single date with a rose and all the Original BachieGirls give her high fives and are so happy for her which makes the intruder Bachie girls fume! Llama is all like, " Nobody gave me a high five when I got my red rose", but Nina be like...

The hate hate relationship is brewing between Nina and Tinkerbell too and I am thinking they both might be like...

As much as we love the quirkiness of Tinkerbell's personality we are all feeling squeamish over the general feel for this cocktail party. At this point it is clear the BachieGirls aren't consuming enough alcoholic beverages so enter our favourite non-Bachie....

Osher lays down the mathematical laws of the game that only he knows how to explain so the whole of Australia is on the same page, a BachieGirl must go home today.  As we realise that our lone crazy sister is standing solo the whole of Australia I do believe sung in unison when Tinkerbell was not given a rose...

But because she is a food blogger and I think there is a hidden side to our Tinkerbell, I am sure all will be well with our dear friend and she will be blogging away soon about....

It is at this point that I have to ask myself some tough questions. Am I taking this show too seriously? Should I be folding the 14 loads of laundry that are piling up, should I be cleaning the sticky kitchen floor that is catching more than just dog hair now and....

PS. #BachieTreat tonight was Butterscotch and Gingabread ice cream.

Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2