The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Episode 14 Recap and no #BachieTreat

Episode 14

I am still in a bit of shock over last night's episode. I decided to sleep on my thoughts and think about how I should approach this recap. I was raised, like many other children, that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. That wisdom lasts until you get your period, or you're pregnant, or you give birth. Lucky for me its not that time of the month and I am not with child, so giving myself a day to ponder my approach really did the trick!

Hometown Visits

H-bomb Heather
We see Straya's hot favourite Heather bring Bachie to QLD. We don't get to see the best of Brisvegas, instead she takes him first to see a mountain while we watch them sip tea and watch pretty scones sit all lined up and pretty by themselves and untouched. Heather shares her family tale with him. This is a very serious point in the show and we love her more for it. Then she takes him down to the farm to meet Warrick. Warrick is a special man, he is not her father but he is a father figure in Heather's life. You can tell when you meet him that he is fully sick hard yakka, he won't beat around the bush (punny) and he will be challenging Bachie for all the right reasons. I like Warrick and he reminds me of..

and....

It is clear to me that Warrick is not accepting Bachie into he circle of trust too quickly. He has to earn it and right he should. #welovewarrick

Llama
Next we are taken to Medusa's, aka Lana's hometown visit. What could be more worrisome than being caught up in a trance by Medusa? Meeting Medusa's mother perhaps?? I wish I could reach into the TV and slap some sense into Bachie! Though like I said in my last recap, since this disgenuine vibe I get from Llama....

 I just can't put a paper bag over the vibe and ignore it, can I?  I am pretty confident Llama leads a double lifestyle as a cat person. I don't have proof, its just the vibe. So I kinda suspected that we would be seeing something like this at her house...

But we did't {sad face}. Though Llama's mum is very intense and she cuts to the chase and whisks Bachie away to give him the royal interrogation, but not in the cellar!! Llama's mum is mostly concerned about Bachie making her precious daughter move away from her to horrible Melbourne. She basically wanted him to promise her that he would move to Sydney for Llama but he was brave and strong and wouldn't give in to her attempt to place another Medusa spell on him, powers must weaken with age.

Sarah

Well, let me think for a minute....

Then I got this sudden urge to paint my finger nails, which I hardly ever do which is kind of weird. Do you know how fascinating it is to watch your nail polish dry? While that was happening I did hear Sarah say she was worried that Bachie thought she was not interested in having children. She wanted to reassure him it's in her life plan, but after she travels and starts her own business. Interesting she felt the need to mention this. The date had a bit of a Nina vibe.

Snezanna

Our second hot favourite lives in Perth and we finally get to meet her daughter, Eve. She is such a cute girl and you can tell that their mother and daughter bond is very strong and in years to come their relationship will be like this...

Maybe Bachie will be in the picture too who knows? I feel like I have this connection with Snez. Not only are we both totally hot and likeable people, but we both love food and we be like...

and we aren't afraid to talk about it. I must add that I want to be friends with Snez so I can be invited to her place for dinner. Her family know how to put on a real meal, and it wasn't even Christmas! It was almost like this...

 Then Snez's brother takes Bachie out for a chitty chat and to play the over protective brother role and be like...

He keeps emphasising to Bachie that he is not just getting engaged to Snez, but he will be a dad to Eve and he will be part of the 'family'. Which freaks Bachie out, because he never thought about it like that before. Now he has to think harder which means we will have more beach thinking scenes, yay {kind of}.

Rose Ceremony

Finally we get a break from all the seriousness of the hometown dates but hang on, there is no laughing and drinking at this cocktail party. Unfortunately the tab was blown last show and it's all serious again and the ladies have their own thinking time in their pretty frocks. Then we heave a sigh of relief as all is good in the world because...

Osher in da house! Whoop Whoop!! But he is all serious too and I am starting to think maybe I should be serious about something...oh look my other hand of nails has completely dried! Then Osher lays down the mathematical language which is super cryptic tonight and I am feeling like ...

Osher isn't just a pretty face with amazing hair, he can teach you important stuff too! Then something weird happens. It's almost like the universe cracks or something. Sarah gets a rose, Snez gets rose, and then we are down to Heather and Llama. Bachie takes a very long time to verbalise his choice. It's almost like the producers want us to think he could change his mind at the last minute if he wanted to....yar as if! Then it happens! Bachie gives the final rose to Llama and the whole of Australia be like....

Maybe it is that time of month after all. #teamheatherforever!!


PS. I didn't have a #BachieTreat tonight, I wasn't feeling so good. I think it was kind of a good idea that I didn't because there was a chance I would have chucked it up when Heather didn't get her rose!!

Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 & 6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1& 2

The Bachelor Season 3 Episode 12 Recap and #BachieTreat

Episode 12

You might recall on one of the previous episodes where Bachie took Sarah to taste some wine near "his" boat house. I wondered back then if he had a boat, and this episode cleared it all up for me. It's not a boat per say, coz he's not that rich yet. It's a kayak. He keeps his kayak in the boat house, of course!

Thanks to the awesomeness that is Osher we get to spend another episode getting to know the real on-screen Rachel aka Tinkerbell. She is an odd character to put it nicely. She isn't much of a people person in fact, she be like...

She has made it perfectly clear that she is not on this show to make friends with the BachieGirls. Not only has she spelled that out to us, the viewers, and her BachieGirlfriends but if anyone missed her verbal release her icy cold body language and facial cues seal the deal. Her main reason for being on the show, I think is to get her man, I think.  I'm not too sure about this because she doesn't even seem too interested in Bachie either. I think she was all hoping for Bachie to fall all over her, and when he didn't she spaced out, like literally.  At their first meeting if it went a little bit like this,

then we would think, because this happened in a movie, there could be an actual chance between Bachie and Tinkerbell, but it didn't so it didn't.


Group Date
Bachie was super generous this week and invited the harem to this date. They are taken by #NISSANS to an "arty district" where a trendy warehouse art gallery place thingy, with awesome big doors awaits them. Bachie likes "culcha" and he wants to share this with his BachieGirls. It is here they are paired up to create a clay 'sculpcha' of Bachie. As bad luck would have it, Sarah was standing next to Tinkerbell, and she be thinking..

But she was a good sport and they created their 'sculpcha' of a shirtless Bachie laying on the pashing couch, which according to Tinkerbell, was the main feature in her mind!? What evs! Then the BachieGirls had to draw a charcoal portrait of Bachie, though the face wasn't included in this art piece, it was more the shirtless form. Bachie was also wearing 'Calvin Klein' undies but seriously, you aren't a real man unless you are wearing 'Ellen' undies so he gets another strike from me! The BachieGirl who draws a creation that reaches Bachie's inner heart full of "culcha" wins some alone time. Lucky for Bachie, as he had no idea whose picture belonged to who, chose Parmie's art work. He chose it because he liked how the picture shows Bachie how he sees himself. Which means a well proportioned chiseled male form, he is so modest.  I have to add though her picture was pretty darn good.

There was also a bit of time for Bachie to have some catch up time with Tinkerbell and get to know her better. This is where the brothers and sisters of Australia be like..

It is clear to us that Bachie was nor impressed with his stretch of alone and fascinatingly uncomfortable discourse with Tinkerbell, but I think she was a bit like....

After that uncomfortable encounter we are taken to Parmie and Bachie's  alone time date and it's during this cuddly together time that Bachie asks the big question. Will Parmie move to Melbourne to be with her man? She shocked the sisterhood of Australia by saying she would. Bachie be like,

 I think he was hoping she would be resistant to moving, and thus making his decision making easier. But Bachie, you naive child you. You are talking to women and things are never going to be straight forward and easy.

Single Date
Sarah scores yet another single date with Bachie. Nina is not so happy and neither are the intruders. I could explain what happens on this date but unfortunately....

Cocktail Party
Sarah gets back from her single date with a rose and all the Original BachieGirls give her high fives and are so happy for her which makes the intruder Bachie girls fume! Llama is all like, " Nobody gave me a high five when I got my red rose", but Nina be like...

The hate hate relationship is brewing between Nina and Tinkerbell too and I am thinking they both might be like...

As much as we love the quirkiness of Tinkerbell's personality we are all feeling squeamish over the general feel for this cocktail party. At this point it is clear the BachieGirls aren't consuming enough alcoholic beverages so enter our favourite non-Bachie....

Osher lays down the mathematical laws of the game that only he knows how to explain so the whole of Australia is on the same page, a BachieGirl must go home today.  As we realise that our lone crazy sister is standing solo the whole of Australia I do believe sung in unison when Tinkerbell was not given a rose...

But because she is a food blogger and I think there is a hidden side to our Tinkerbell, I am sure all will be well with our dear friend and she will be blogging away soon about....

It is at this point that I have to ask myself some tough questions. Am I taking this show too seriously? Should I be folding the 14 loads of laundry that are piling up, should I be cleaning the sticky kitchen floor that is catching more than just dog hair now and....

PS. #BachieTreat tonight was Butterscotch and Gingabread ice cream.

Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Recap Episode 11 and #BachieTreat

Episode 11

So this episode be like....

Excuse me while I wipe away the spit dribble and wake up properly from my slumber. This really was a very slow paced episode. I do recall some interesting moments which I shall share.

The group date included the whole gang. Bachie has set this up pretty well. Will my BachieGirl be able to not just be adored by children, but work in the "family business" when she accepts my marriage proposal? It seemed like it was a job interview to me. While the sisterhood swoons over Bachie and his child whispering ways, Nina's internal flame is combusting over her hatred for Tinkerbell. These two do NOT, I repeat do NOT like each other. The Dallia and Tessa show down I prophetically conjured up for Emily and Nina (or Heather) could actually come to fruition with Tinkerbell and Nina or Nina and Llama. There's two opportunities and personally I'm not fussed which happens, I'm just keen to see it go down! Tinkerbell is an interesting character. She doesn't like to interact with other women, she's not too keen on little people, she doesn't like social activities that include other people and she doesn't like balls! Who is this person? She be like....

But we be like....

I thought maybe Tinkerbell was just having a bad couple of days, as it could very well be that time of the month. Well lets face it a house full women, they're bound to sync at some point. But gee whiz, this girl has a lot of verbal gas to expel and she isn't shy in letting it loose!

Nina is also not happy because she has not been on a single date since her last single date where she had to break the on screen pash record. However my thoughts go to the original Rachel who was strung along by Bachie and NEVER got a single date. Let's be fair Nina, you at least have had some alone time with the man and even though the kiss was forced, at least you got it. Nina is not just cranky pants about this, but like I said before, she is not so keen on the new intruder girls. I think her thoughts of Tinkerbell go a little like this....

 and I think she feels a little bit like this toward Llama....

 Personally, I am not keen on Llama, there is something really "disgenuine" about her (thanks Queen Ems for introducing me to this new word). I really thought with the exit of Heybro that the MeanGirl alliance was over but it seems that Llama has appointed herself to the throne and she has taken on Tinkerball as her jester.


Single Date  
Llama scores the single date and we get to know all about her. She has travelled, she knows Spanish and she knows where the quarantine station is in Sydney and Bachie thinks she is amazing! How talented to know where the quarantine station is, she is so learned and worldly I want to be her friend! But I feel conflicted with these worrisome thoughts about how disgenuine she is. All this being said, I still feel there is something not quite right about this date. I'm concerned that Llama gives off a scent that makes Bachie act weird and not think right when he is in her presence. It is almost like she be like

and while he stares into her eyes she puts a trance on him, he doesn't turn to stone but she makes him give her a rose. Anyway, that might seem a bit far fetched but it could happen....it could! ;)

Cocktail Party
Enter Llama gleaming with her red rose and she can't wait to off load her salty experience into Nina's gashing wounds. But the girls all be like...

Tell someone who cares Llama, your Bachie trance doesn't work on us! So anyway, the shock horror drama that the ads have been building up to is about to take place at the rose ceremony. Osher in the house he be like...

He informs us that Bachie has been challenged this week with this decision about sending yet another BachieGirl home. Really Osher? You are trying to convince us that Bachie is wanting to keep Tinkerbell on and see how wild her personality blooms or festers depending on how you take her? We know that Llama has a rose so she is safe to fight it out another week with her bestie Bachie Girlfriends. Heather gets a rose and Parmie does too. All of a sudden I don't give too hoots who is next to get a rose or who is going home. The only BachieGirls I care about are safe. Then it happens, Bachie gets the cue from his ear piece to get all nervous and awkward. The producers then start yelling so loudly at him in his ear piece that he is not making a decision quick enough, he excuses himself and he be like...

Lucky for Bachie, Osher is there to save the day and make everything right in the Bachie Mansion, what would Bachie do with himself if he didn't have Osher telling him....

With such wisdom, how could Bachie not make the best decision of his life? He gives all three remaining girls a rose. Good Work Osher, now we really get to see what Tinkerbell has to offer!!

Bachie Treat
I decided to make this homemade ice cream which is dairy free and pretty much vegan friendly. I will post a separate post for the recipe.

Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

The Bachelor Australia Recap Episode 10 and #BachieTreat

Episode 10
I am totally getting into this season for reals. I am now into writing separate posts for the episodes rather than combined. Something is wrong with me is it not?

While the sons and daughters of Australia adjust themselves to not having Her Royal Majesty Queen of Bachelordom and Hearts, Emily on screen anymore,  I start to worry that there is so many real life connections with my favourite movies and The Bachelor Australia that I have to consider there could be concern for Emily, since her dramatic exist fell on nobody's deaf ears....

Which I truly don't think would happen. Of course, you can't take a show like this too seriously, seriously.  With this exit though, my truest hopes of a Dallia and Tessa show down between Queen Em and Hippie Heather are now dimming and I am feeling a little depressed about it.

I worry about this for almost 10 seconds then I realise that Queen Em has left behind her loyal subject, HeyBro. It is so clear to me now that Queen Ems demands have been tattooed on Heybro's left butt cheek, last night when she went out to see if she was ok. Heybro spent an awfully long time out there with her and it is crystal clear she must fulfil the destiny that Queen Em failed to do. Heybro is so loyal, how could she fail? 

Osher arrives and it is clear one of the BachieGirls in their hysterical hungered state has broken out in the dead of night and eaten some of the mansion rations. A shirt was chosen. On the upside, he has two golden envelopes (to go with this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory theme suit last night). There will be two dates this episode, but will they be single or polygamist style? The first is a single date with Hippie Heather. Yay, she is still in the running.  The second envelope is a polygamist date with a dark twist. All the girls except Sarah and Hippie Heather are invited. 

Group Date

The dark twist is really just a dinner date in the dark. So they can discover their true selves and act all Avatar and 'really see' each other with their hearing and smelling senses, let's hope they all had time to shower. This date ends up being a little boring so the BachieGirls decide to spice it up a little by knocking over drinks and squealing about it. Tinkerbell (she is the blond intruder) shows her age by finding their behaviour oh so childish and is so "roll of the eyes"unimpressed. When BachieWood throws her a life line and asks her opinion she tells him, she will give her opinion if she feels she has one. That went down like a lead balloon and Bachie decides that his one on one time will go to sister-girlfriend Llama (oh how I try to type her name and it keeps coming up that way!) who totally turned him on when she fed him noodles and prawn crackers.Naturally the BachieGirls are totes frustrated by this decision. How dare she steal 'THEIR' man from them. Who does she think she is?

  

So Bachie takes Llama on a single and ever so boring date. It is clear she loves to smile and offer as little conversation as it is possible, what does she have to hide?  She does ask him if he saw her at a party would he approach her and speak to her? My concern at this point is she is asking him a question he has to answer in the nicest way possible. Who is this lady? Is she a diluted version of Sandragon with crazy eyes? If she is wearing pink in the next episode it will become all too clear.

Single Date

Hippie Heather scores the single date and after she was dumped by Osher in a NISSAN on the side of a country road, she desperately hopes Bachie will follow through and pick her up. He does and its in style. He is driving a Mr Whippy ice cream van (it could be an old NISSAN model, I am not sure). It is at this point that I hope that Hippie Heather can eat her weight in ice cream to keep her going for the rest of the show.  Bachie drives her to a secret garden style setting where a table is decked out in an edible Alice in Wonderland style buffet of delights. Bachie has the chocolatier come out to acknowledge his skills, because lets face it, Bachie slaves away all his available time (after workouts) to plan and organise every single square detail of these dates he takes his sister-girlfriends on but being asked to make and create edible delights is really just pushing it. Let's give the man a break! I am saddened to discover that they only eat a couple of  things. Why go to the effort for them to only eat a few items? It is becoming clear, Bachie likes his girls lean. Maybe the rations are not enforced by Channel 10? Maybe Bachie wont  propose to a "plus size" lady? Total douche! This is when I so wish I was working on The Bachelor, I would hoe down that table in no time and blog about it until the cows come home!! 

Time to go inside for some romantic time.This is when Hippie Heather drops her guard completely and actually appears to have totally fallen in love with Bachie. The sisterhood of TheBachelorau freak out! Is she falling too soon? Does he really love her back or is he just totally prepping for the next notch on his belt? Only time will tell, though he did give her a rose, which is a promising sign. 

Cocktail Party

There is a clear division at this point between NewBachieGirls and OriginalBachieGirls. Tinkerbell doesn't have time for it she be like....

Heybro is all perplexed about how Llama is getting more attention with Bachie and she be like... 

But I think Heybro is literally freaking out that she hasn't pulled off the tattooed promise that Queen Emily has left her with. That tattoo is there for life to remind her of her failure, not just with BachieWood, but to Queen Emily. Oh the shame to behold! What will become of her if she returns to Queen Emily empty handed.The hair she was supposed to rip out of Nina or/both Hippie Heather's head/s when she attacked them commando style, are still in their heads and not in her hands. How will she explain it so she will understand? Can she be too obvious or will she just freak out because all she can see in her desperate mind be like....

 I just hoped for Heybro's sake that Bachie wouldn't put her through the ceremony, but he did. Good luck Heybro, I so hope Her Royal Majesty of Bachelordom and Hearts her Highness Queen Emily isn't what the cameras made her out to be. 

Bachie Treat

It was so fitting that tonight's episode featured chocolate because I like chocolate too!

Recap Episode 9

Recap Episode 7&8

Recap Episode 5&6

Recap Episode 4

Recap Episode 3

Recap Episode 1&2