I am totally getting into this season for reals. I am now into writing separate posts for the episodes rather than combined. Something is wrong with me is it not?
While the sons and daughters of Australia adjust themselves to not having Her Royal Majesty Queen of Bachelordom and Hearts, Emily on screen anymore, I start to worry that there is so many real life connections with my favourite movies and The Bachelor Australia that I have to consider there could be concern for Emily, since her dramatic exist fell on nobody's deaf ears....
Which I truly don't think would happen. Of course, you can't take a show like this too seriously, seriously. With this exit though, my truest hopes of a Dallia and Tessa show down between Queen Em and Hippie Heather are now dimming and I am feeling a little depressed about it.
I worry about this for almost 10 seconds then I realise that Queen Em has left behind her loyal subject, HeyBro. It is so clear to me now that Queen Ems demands have been tattooed on Heybro's left butt cheek, last night when she went out to see if she was ok. Heybro spent an awfully long time out there with her and it is crystal clear she must fulfil the destiny that Queen Em failed to do. Heybro is so loyal, how could she fail?
Osher arrives and it is clear one of the BachieGirls in their hysterical hungered state has broken out in the dead of night and eaten some of the mansion rations. A shirt was chosen. On the upside, he has two golden envelopes (to go with this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory theme suit last night). There will be two dates this episode, but will they be single or polygamist style? The first is a single date with Hippie Heather. Yay, she is still in the running. The second envelope is a polygamist date with a dark twist. All the girls except Sarah and Hippie Heather are invited.
Group Date
The dark twist is really just a dinner date in the dark. So they can discover their true selves and act all Avatar and 'really see' each other with their hearing and smelling senses, let's hope they all had time to shower. This date ends up being a little boring so the BachieGirls decide to spice it up a little by knocking over drinks and squealing about it. Tinkerbell (she is the blond intruder) shows her age by finding their behaviour oh so childish and is so "roll of the eyes"unimpressed. When BachieWood throws her a life line and asks her opinion she tells him, she will give her opinion if she feels she has one. That went down like a lead balloon and Bachie decides that his one on one time will go to sister-girlfriend Llama (oh how I try to type her name and it keeps coming up that way!) who totally turned him on when she fed him noodles and prawn crackers.Naturally the BachieGirls are totes frustrated by this decision. How dare she steal 'THEIR' man from them. Who does she think she is?
So Bachie takes Llama on a single and ever so boring date. It is clear she loves to smile and offer as little conversation as it is possible, what does she have to hide? She does ask him if he saw her at a party would he approach her and speak to her? My concern at this point is she is asking him a question he has to answer in the nicest way possible. Who is this lady? Is she a diluted version of Sandragon with crazy eyes? If she is wearing pink in the next episode it will become all too clear.
Single Date
Hippie Heather scores the single date and after she was dumped by Osher in a NISSAN on the side of a country road, she desperately hopes Bachie will follow through and pick her up. He does and its in style. He is driving a Mr Whippy ice cream van (it could be an old NISSAN model, I am not sure). It is at this point that I hope that Hippie Heather can eat her weight in ice cream to keep her going for the rest of the show. Bachie drives her to a secret garden style setting where a table is decked out in an edible Alice in Wonderland style buffet of delights. Bachie has the chocolatier come out to acknowledge his skills, because lets face it, Bachie slaves away all his available time (after workouts) to plan and organise every single square detail of these dates he takes his sister-girlfriends on but being asked to make and create edible delights is really just pushing it. Let's give the man a break! I am saddened to discover that they only eat a couple of things. Why go to the effort for them to only eat a few items? It is becoming clear, Bachie likes his girls lean. Maybe the rations are not enforced by Channel 10? Maybe Bachie wont propose to a "plus size" lady? Total douche! This is when I so wish I was working on The Bachelor, I would hoe down that table in no time and blog about it until the cows come home!!
Time to go inside for some romantic time.This is when Hippie Heather drops her guard completely and actually appears to have totally fallen in love with Bachie. The sisterhood of TheBachelorau freak out! Is she falling too soon? Does he really love her back or is he just totally prepping for the next notch on his belt? Only time will tell, though he did give her a rose, which is a promising sign.
Cocktail Party
There is a clear division at this point between NewBachieGirls and OriginalBachieGirls. Tinkerbell doesn't have time for it she be like....
Heybro is all perplexed about how Llama is getting more attention with Bachie and she be like...
But I think Heybro is literally freaking out that she hasn't pulled off the tattooed promise that Queen Emily has left her with. That tattoo is there for life to remind her of her failure, not just with BachieWood, but to Queen Emily. Oh the shame to behold! What will become of her if she returns to Queen Emily empty handed.The hair she was supposed to rip out of Nina or/both Hippie Heather's head/s when she attacked them commando style, are still in their heads and not in her hands. How will she explain it so she will understand? Can she be too obvious or will she just freak out because all she can see in her desperate mind be like....
I just hoped for Heybro's sake that Bachie wouldn't put her through the ceremony, but he did. Good luck Heybro, I so hope Her Royal Majesty of Bachelordom and Hearts her Highness Queen Emily isn't what the cameras made her out to be.
Bachie Treat
It was so fitting that tonight's episode featured chocolate because I like chocolate too!
Recap Episode 5&6
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