Bachelor Recap Season 4 Episodes 1-7

Dear massive and extensive national, possibly worldly fan base. My sincerest apologies for not being more regular with my blogging. Basically my body decided to ovulate at an irregular moment and now I have a little human growing inside me which will be due to be cut out via c-section late September. I have had many a post written and re-written in my brain but the motivation to sit down at a computer, until now, has been barely there. This will be baby number 5 for us, and while we thought producing 4 babies was a good enough effort and contribution to the Australian population, we figured what harm could one more Wilson do? Don't think too hard on that. Pregnancies are not fun for me. Each pregnancy provides risk of a DVT to my body. I grow happy, but massive babies, and to add to it all, this time around, I have gestational diabetes and I am 7 years older than my last pregnancy. I really should muster up the energy to blog my thoughts about that! I am exhausted to say the least. Raising two teenagers, and growing a baby I don't highly recommend, but somewhere along the way, with prayer, hard work and determination it somehow all works out. Anyway, now you know why my recaps are delayed and you are probably thinking, "Did I notice or care", I will proceed with my thoughts of the Bachie season to date.

Recap in a nutshell episodes 1-7

So we all know the gentle and sweet saying about girls that they are made up of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' right? Well let me apply this to this seasons gaggle of Bachiettes. Well, I might leave the sugar to the side since sugar is not a girl's best friend and lets touch on the spice. The lion's den is made up of a number of interesting characters.The ones to remember most would be Keira, or we can call her a range of nicknames like Scary Spice, Not happy Jan, and Queen Keira, to name but a few and I really should limit myself.

She is going to  bring the most entertainment, and not in the best of ways. She is blond, mildly attractive, (not ugly, but not a glamour either) and has a sporty body. Well, her body is quite good, I will give her that. But her personality is split, to put it bluntly. However, in saying that she doesn't seem too shy in hiding just how cool banana split it is. She calls it like it is,but has no tact. None, zippo, zilch, not even to save her own life. Which is not overly endearing, but makes for the best TV. So naturally she is a reality TV producer's dream.  Her most favourite quirk would have to be licking her front teeth like ALL the FREAKIN time! Like she has peanut butter cemented there for life. As a viewer, this is annoying but don't just take my word for it, see how the peeps on Twitter deal with it!
Queen Keira's most popular quotes to date must be, "I'm not happy","I'm annoyed", "I hate group dates", again to name but a few and I have limited myself on purpose. Episode after episode I watch her and wonder, can I find something about her that makes me want her to win? The answer is absolutely not. Actually speaking of Absolutely, she kind of reminds me of....

Minus the ciggie, but if Queen Keira does not hold back on saying what she wants, whens she wants. Last night's episode totally revealed this side of her. She was immensely ticked off about the intruders entering the house and she let it out on Kiki ( I will talk about her soon). If you recall my recaps from last year, which of course you do as you are my number one fan, you will remember that I desperately hoped for an Suburgatory-style cat fight. Let me refresh your memory.

Scary Spice could just about attack any girl in the Lion's Den and I could totally see this prediction finally come to fruition {happy claps}. She has made it clear she is not on set for the ladies. Although she does claim it's for Richie, but seriously I really don't even think she is staking a claim on him either. I think the real reason why she is on this show is a "Trump-Style" campaign to be the next Bachelorette. One has to ask the question though, how many men would line up to take her on? No seriously...

Enough about Queen Keira, although she provides so much material I could write a thesis on all the different aspect her character brings to the table.

The other girls in the line up to capture Richie's hear include:

Alex

Aka Baby Spice, is young, slim, totally into Richie and has a son. She is a sweet lass, but bless her heart. She is so out of her depth in this show. She has fallen hard and fast and I predict an emotional roller coaster until her exit. She comes across quite needy and I am not sure that Richie can deal with that.  She scored the white rose, which means she can take Richie away each cocktail party for secluded alone time. She stresses each evening on whether to use and if she uses it how it will seem to the other ladies. Bless her heart, she cares too much in a show that require so little caring, from anyone.




Nikki

Megan was my favourite to win but she volunteered to leave in last nights episode. I pinned Nikki( Too Honest Spice) as the other Bachiette in the final two. Now, I think she might take him home, so to speak. She is a very attractive woman, when she is less dolled up (just saying coz I can). She is model of maturity in Lion's Den and comes across as a very down to earth, genuine girl. The kind that might get a gig on a breakfast radio show post show.






Kiki

Aka Posh Spice (though we could say Posh Bogan Spice) has done some modelling, and if you haven't picked up on that by now, then you aren't watching the same show. For some reason its totes important we know this information because it totally defines who she is and why she is on the show I guess. From the first couple of episodes I didn't think she was in it for Richie, but last weeks episode changed my mind a little.
Kiki is not afraid to talk, not quite Queen Keira style, which is why they clash. Queen Keira thinks Kiki ( I have named her Stationery for what I feel are obvious reasons) is a bogan and a peasant. To be honest with you though, I got the impression that Richie at some point has requested a certain percentage of his ideal women to possess a bit of boagnism because they all come across like bogans. Don't get me wrong, that is not a completely bad thing. Essentially, if you are raised in Australia you can't dodge the bogan bullet and its not sexist. It's in us all and we can't hide it, well you can if you think about it too much, but if you have an alcoholic bevvy in your hand your bogan will come out, it just will!!

Rachel

I am only really mentioning Rachel because I didn't actually remember her until last nights episode. She scored a single date but the thing that ruined it all for me, was the Channel 10 promo. They show her backflipping off a pirate ship into water. It was impressive on the promo and made me think there is more to her than just being a bogan! But watching it again during the episode, it just was so deflated. She was a bogan who can backflip instead of a cool chick who can backflip. Its the same feeling you get when you peek at your christmas present before its Christmas. It was a cool surprise, then it became the present you didn't ask for but you have to look surprised. It just ruined it for me. Though she did get a rose. I have to ask though, when will Richie have a single date and not give a rose? Maybe that will be when he has a single with Queen Keira! Can you imagine her reaction if he didn't give her a rose?

Keira doesn't even have to be Wicker, she will cast a spell on Richie and everyone in the house, even Oshie wouldn't be spared!!

Noni

Aka Bacon Spice, is not going to win this gig by any stretch of the imagination but I had to mention her because she has a cool nickname! She loves bacon and she would be considered to be the 'curvy' girl in the house which totally makes me happy to see. The Bachelor definitely lacks diversity in shape, size, and ethnicity. I am definitely not the only one who sees it. Noni seems nice and she is a swimwear designer (sounds familiar to a lass in last season) so I guess we need to watch out for the launch of her new swimwear line coming our way this Summer ! (charity plug over)




So there are some other girls from the original group still holding on with white knuckles. But last nights episode brought three new ladies to the table, which came as a shock to the original Bachiettes. But I do have to ask, yet again, if they saw last season, did they not remember there were "intruders" in that season? It's all part of the show. I so can't wait for a Bachiette to be so into the show she plays it like survivor because she knows how it works. Nothing will be a surprise and she will explain to the other girls that Bachie really doesn't come up with the ideas for the dates himself, he just has to say he does. Say wha?

Before I go, let me chat about Richie for a moment. Now he was not a favourite of mine in the Bachelorette. I found him too agreeable and everything seemed to be "cool bananas" which we all know in life it's not. I found him boring, but still a handsome sort with a good sick pack, sorry six pack and an "as you wish" Wesley look-a-like from The Princess Bride, which scored him bonus cookie points.

 I am still yet to understand though, what a rope specialist does and how that can earn one a good income, but I am open to learning. I might suggest my son consider doing it at Uni. All that aside, this season means we have to watch him week after, week, after boring week. The man's personality is limited to say the least. He is a nice guy, but oh so limited and I feel the girl that accepts his final rose will need to be willing to balance him out or equal him.

So far the shows are best watched with Twitter in hand, it's true, it makes the show more impressive. I also worry for the entertainment value of the show when Keira either doesn't get a rose, or she walks off because she is "Not Happy" with how the girls are behaving or if Richie doesn't do something he should have like kissed her already. Me thinks though that maybe Richie feels a little uneasy (or we could use the word intimidated, either works) around Keira. I can't quite pin point why he would feel this way but maybe its a bit like Keira is like...

Maybe she creeps him out? Whatever the delay in his affection towards her, I worry she might explode quite literally if he doesn't make a move soon!! (notice how the lady in this gif has blond hair too)

The Bachiettes need to consider a lock down plan or a safe zone should this occur. They might need to get Oshie involved because Oshie is the good samaritan in all this. He has the math skillz, them word skillz, commercial promotion skillz, the lean down to my shoulder Richie if you need it skillz. I am not sure if he can dance but I am thinking he must be able to shake it with some boogie skillz, and don't forget the vegan skillz coz he loves the earth. He got all dem skillz. Osher is the package!

The Bachelorette Australia Finale Recap

Apologies for this late post. I had better things to do this weekend. I was on my time out. Not that I have been a bad mother and needed time to reflect on my behaviour, but as most mothers know we do need time out to reflect on why we chose to be mothers! It was a great weekend that really recharged my batteries that should last until the next mummy meltdown!!

Episode 10

It is finale time and BachieQueen has bought her Bachies to NZ to consume fosh and chops and all the L&P their hearts desires!! It was RobotMikey's turn to meet the her siblings first. BachieQueen's sister took the over protective sister roll and she did a good job. She was not taking any nonsense from RobotMikey. What were her first impression of RobotMikey....

I instantly liked her! Though by the end of their one to one chitty chat she seemed to have softened up towards him. Still first impressions are lasting.


Then it was Sasha's turn to meet the family, and while they tried hard to drill him, it was clear that they know he is BachieQueen's fav and they had to try hard not to let us know that, but didn't do the best of jobs. BachieQueen's sister tried to press Sasha to use the 'L' word but Sasha kept to his guns and expressed that he didn't want to use the word just to get her attention, which I thought was sweet.

Final Dates

BachieQueen took RobotMikey white water rafting and then they chitty chatted in a hot water spring....

Though BachieQueen did keep emphasising to the viewers how important it was for the fellas to express their true feelings. While it seemed to me that RobotMikey was not really completely in love with her or overly interested for that matter, he still dropped the 'L' bomb and because I totes read minds, I could see BachieQueen be like....

But she is nice and wouldn't actually say that, though we know she only has eyes for Sasha and this part of the show 'has' to be done.

BachieQueen takes Sasha on a yacht so they can cuddle and pash a lot. Then they sat on the pasha couch and talked about feelings and then Sasha dropped the 'L' bomb! BachieQueen's response to Sasha was way better than the other guys....

 ...and it was more obvious than it has ever been before who she was going to choose!

Who Does BachieQueen Choose?

Now if RobotMikey could show emotions, he would be like....

But I don't call him RobotMikey for kicks. When BachieQueen revealed the bad news that she just wanted to be friends and not lovers, because it was her and not him he was all like....

Good Luck to you RobotMikey, all jokes aside I do hope you find your lady C3PO one day!

I predicted this ending from Episode 1. Sasha and BachieQueen seem like a very compatible couple and I do wish them all the best. There was no marriage proposal, nor any ring or jewellery of any kind to speak of. Perhaps Channel 10 blew the budget on the first class tickets to NZ?!  Whatever the case, like I prophesied back in my episode 8 recap...

I am so awesome at this!! ;p

Missed a Recap?

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 9
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelorette Australia Ep 9 Recap and BachietteTreat

Episode 9

And then there were 3 Bachies standing and one of them has already stolen BachieQueen's heart and the other two are along for the ride and potential modelling contracts. BachieQueen takes each Bachie on a one to one date this episode and at the end of this episode, a Bachie will be departing back into singledom.

Sasha's Date

I really felt for Sasha on this date because he has a fear of heights and BachieQueen is well aware of this. Geared with this knowledge she decides the coolest date would be to totes go skydiving! No doubt Sasha's first impression was....

But he held it together like a trooper or like a love sick puppy dog, because he decided to go up in the plane that has a transparent roller door, which would make any hypsiphobic hurl at the sight of it. Personally, I have a crippling fear of heights. The very thought of skydiving and falling from an aeroplane makes me feel ill. Though that being said, if my husband decided to take me skydiving when we were dating, I probably would have skydived like Sasha did, anything for love right?


Once on the ground BachieQueen realises she could get Sasha to do just about anything in the name of love! She also realisies that this date means they can totes get through any challenges that life could throw at them IF they were to be together. This makes BachieQueen so excited, she starts to get queasy and light headed! The doctor is called in to monitor her but all she be thinking...

BachieQueen manages to get her heart rate down and back to normal beating mode. The thrill of the skydiving and the presence of her BachieKing were too much for her body to take!!! Things are looking good for the couple until they sit down on the pashing couch and BachieQueen says she is concerned that Sasha may not like her after the show is over because she doesn't have nice things! Sasha and us are like...

Is she saying....?

But Sasha patches it all up with his reassurance that stuff like that doesn't bother him and he's like....

And she melts for him all over again. Sash is the Man!! #TeamSasha


Richie

So I want to go all cray cray on the Princess Bride gifs again, but we'll see how we go. We might need to mix it up a little due to the nature of the date.  BachieQueen takes Richie to the snow and in true Aussie form, there isn't much snow to get excited about, though its enough to get Richie thinking its like the movies and its all #CoolBananas! He is from Perth! After some snowball fighting, with what snow they could find,  it was time to get serious. BachieQueen was on a mission. She had to hear just how serious Richie was about her, and by serious I mean, the "L" word. Was he falling in love with her, or was he trying to fall in love with her? She asked him but we at home, were like...

Yeah, so words came out of his mouth but I can't quite remember what he was saying exactly and I am concerned he wasn't really sure either, which is a bit disheartening.  Poor Richie....

Whatever you mean by what you were saying it means, it made us all feel like you were perhaps going home this episode...

Yes Richie it does!

Michael

If you have been reading my recaps (thanks by the way), you will know I am not a fan of RobotMikey. I can't really put my finger on it, its just seems like....

BachieQueen takes him whale watching. On the way, they are cuddling and he tells her that his mum proposed to his dad and I am all like....

BachieQueen dodges the comment but he tells her again and she has to respond and says something quaint. But its totally....

The highlights of the date go to the whales and then the aquarium room at the dinner date, that was pretty cool. But as for RobotMikey and his conversational skills....

Rose Ceremony

There are no numbers to collate or to speak of at this rose ceremony. And Osher is.....

What else can he do? BachieQueen took over and while she handed her second rose to RobotMikey she shed a tear for Richie. I was so hoping for RobotMikey not to get a rose, but alas, it was Richie. No Rose for you Richie there will be no Princess Bride ending for this show and I too shed a tear because there will be no more....

 It's all good though because I am #teamSasha and always was!!!

My prediction for tomorrow night, well, I think I have already made it clear. RobotMikey has better things to do....

BachietteTreat

All natural orange slushy which consists of oranges, water and ice. It was so noice!!

Missed a Recap?
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8 HomeTown Visits

Episode 8

BachieQueen gets to meet the families of her Bachies and potential future husband in this episode and I do believe she is feeling a little like this....

Alex

We all know SirAlex is not born in Australia because he speaks British. So I had a hunch that mummy and daddy wouldn't be making an appearance. But my mind does wonder is mummy like....

SirAlex meets up with BachieQueen on Avoca Beach and they have a warm, but not so passionate greeting. It is clear that SirAlex isn't given many opportunities to steal a pash. As their conversation grows, SirAlex reveals that his sister is flying in from NZ to meet her, which takes BachieQueen by surprise. Quickly my mind races on what his sister could look like. My comical heart is hoping for this...

or even....

But neither come true. His sister seems pleasant and while we are given the impression she is going to drill BachieQueen with her British interrogation skills she is actually quite nice.  Which is a bit of a shame really, because we all know he has totally been #FriendZoned.


Micheal

Excuse me....

Now that I have that out of the way, though I could do it again at any moment! Michael lives in Brisbane and he takes BachieQueen to play some soccer, because that is what he does, he has no other job, no he doesn't, why would we question him?  He then informs BachieQueen that his parents live in the opposite building to where he actually lives. He is all like.....

While we are tempted to find out just how amazingly wonderful his apartment really is, we are  totally bummed to find out we aren't going to his place, we are going to his parents. Why would he do that we must ask? Well, I am guessing his apartment doesn't have views of BrisVegas because it seemed awfully important that BachieQueen saw BrisVegas at night and not just in the daylight. He could also be a cat man!

Mikey's parents are super lovely. His dad is full of personality and I am starting to like him more than Mikey. Why does Mikey come across so disgenuine?  Is there still hope for Mikey? At the end of the date, as he says his good bye to BachieQueen, Mikey shows her the palm of his hand, which he has written in high school black pen, ' I heart Sam'. Excuse me...

Maybe there isn't any hope for him after all.

Richie

Richie greets Bachie Queen with a big hug and those who are weak, think that maybe these two  are going to be married by the end of the season. Those who are strong will stick to the winning team, #teamSasha. Richie shows BachieQueen around Perth, because she has never been before. Note to self, how to score a free trip to a city you have never been to!! (though I am married, so that really can't work for me, but share the knowledge selflessly to others)

Then Richie takes BachieQueen home to meet the family and friends. I think this is the only date  where friends out number family and I am a little puzzled as to why this is so. I was kind of hoping for his friends at least to be like this..

Unfortunately they don't look nor sound anything like them and I am disheartened. The friends do a lot of the talking and asking how genuine BachieQueen's feelings and her intentions are. Like she is going to spill her beans and tell them she is going to ask Richie to marry her or something? Way to represent!  BachieQueen manages to survive the night and Richie goes in for the pash, but she no let him but he manages a little kiss. She is saving her love lips for the lucky last Bachie!!

Sasha

This is where the goods are at! You can so tell that Sasha and BachieQueen are a match pre made in heaven and it took this show to bring them together. Their warm embrace was enough to seal the deal and there is no doubt in my mind Bachie Queen is like....

However, Channel 10 have been working overtime to convince us all that Sasha's family, his mum particularly are not supportive of this relationship. From the promos alone, the impression I got about his mum was like...

But as per normal, her comments were cut, pasted, and cropped for affect and it turns out his mum is quite noice and accepting of BachieQueen. So it seems thumbs up all around and this is truly meant to be. It seems only fair at this point that we call the show off and let BachieQueen and Sasha be together and we can only hope for this...

Rose Ceremony

Sadly, back to the reality of the show where BachieQueen must choose another Bachie to go home so she can be with the last of her Bachies another two episodes. We all know its going to be the Bachie that has been #FriendZoned, which was sealed on the date with no kiss. Ta Ta #Sir Alex, no rose for you!

PS. No BachietteTreat this evening.

Missed a Recap?
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1