Bachelor Recap Season 4 Episodes 1-7

Dear massive and extensive national, possibly worldly fan base. My sincerest apologies for not being more regular with my blogging. Basically my body decided to ovulate at an irregular moment and now I have a little human growing inside me which will be due to be cut out via c-section late September. I have had many a post written and re-written in my brain but the motivation to sit down at a computer, until now, has been barely there. This will be baby number 5 for us, and while we thought producing 4 babies was a good enough effort and contribution to the Australian population, we figured what harm could one more Wilson do? Don't think too hard on that. Pregnancies are not fun for me. Each pregnancy provides risk of a DVT to my body. I grow happy, but massive babies, and to add to it all, this time around, I have gestational diabetes and I am 7 years older than my last pregnancy. I really should muster up the energy to blog my thoughts about that! I am exhausted to say the least. Raising two teenagers, and growing a baby I don't highly recommend, but somewhere along the way, with prayer, hard work and determination it somehow all works out. Anyway, now you know why my recaps are delayed and you are probably thinking, "Did I notice or care", I will proceed with my thoughts of the Bachie season to date.

Recap in a nutshell episodes 1-7

So we all know the gentle and sweet saying about girls that they are made up of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' right? Well let me apply this to this seasons gaggle of Bachiettes. Well, I might leave the sugar to the side since sugar is not a girl's best friend and lets touch on the spice. The lion's den is made up of a number of interesting characters.The ones to remember most would be Keira, or we can call her a range of nicknames like Scary Spice, Not happy Jan, and Queen Keira, to name but a few and I really should limit myself.

She is going to  bring the most entertainment, and not in the best of ways. She is blond, mildly attractive, (not ugly, but not a glamour either) and has a sporty body. Well, her body is quite good, I will give her that. But her personality is split, to put it bluntly. However, in saying that she doesn't seem too shy in hiding just how cool banana split it is. She calls it like it is,but has no tact. None, zippo, zilch, not even to save her own life. Which is not overly endearing, but makes for the best TV. So naturally she is a reality TV producer's dream.  Her most favourite quirk would have to be licking her front teeth like ALL the FREAKIN time! Like she has peanut butter cemented there for life. As a viewer, this is annoying but don't just take my word for it, see how the peeps on Twitter deal with it!
Queen Keira's most popular quotes to date must be, "I'm not happy","I'm annoyed", "I hate group dates", again to name but a few and I have limited myself on purpose. Episode after episode I watch her and wonder, can I find something about her that makes me want her to win? The answer is absolutely not. Actually speaking of Absolutely, she kind of reminds me of....

Minus the ciggie, but if Queen Keira does not hold back on saying what she wants, whens she wants. Last night's episode totally revealed this side of her. She was immensely ticked off about the intruders entering the house and she let it out on Kiki ( I will talk about her soon). If you recall my recaps from last year, which of course you do as you are my number one fan, you will remember that I desperately hoped for an Suburgatory-style cat fight. Let me refresh your memory.

Scary Spice could just about attack any girl in the Lion's Den and I could totally see this prediction finally come to fruition {happy claps}. She has made it clear she is not on set for the ladies. Although she does claim it's for Richie, but seriously I really don't even think she is staking a claim on him either. I think the real reason why she is on this show is a "Trump-Style" campaign to be the next Bachelorette. One has to ask the question though, how many men would line up to take her on? No seriously...

Enough about Queen Keira, although she provides so much material I could write a thesis on all the different aspect her character brings to the table.

The other girls in the line up to capture Richie's hear include:

Alex

Aka Baby Spice, is young, slim, totally into Richie and has a son. She is a sweet lass, but bless her heart. She is so out of her depth in this show. She has fallen hard and fast and I predict an emotional roller coaster until her exit. She comes across quite needy and I am not sure that Richie can deal with that.  She scored the white rose, which means she can take Richie away each cocktail party for secluded alone time. She stresses each evening on whether to use and if she uses it how it will seem to the other ladies. Bless her heart, she cares too much in a show that require so little caring, from anyone.




Nikki

Megan was my favourite to win but she volunteered to leave in last nights episode. I pinned Nikki( Too Honest Spice) as the other Bachiette in the final two. Now, I think she might take him home, so to speak. She is a very attractive woman, when she is less dolled up (just saying coz I can). She is model of maturity in Lion's Den and comes across as a very down to earth, genuine girl. The kind that might get a gig on a breakfast radio show post show.






Kiki

Aka Posh Spice (though we could say Posh Bogan Spice) has done some modelling, and if you haven't picked up on that by now, then you aren't watching the same show. For some reason its totes important we know this information because it totally defines who she is and why she is on the show I guess. From the first couple of episodes I didn't think she was in it for Richie, but last weeks episode changed my mind a little.
Kiki is not afraid to talk, not quite Queen Keira style, which is why they clash. Queen Keira thinks Kiki ( I have named her Stationery for what I feel are obvious reasons) is a bogan and a peasant. To be honest with you though, I got the impression that Richie at some point has requested a certain percentage of his ideal women to possess a bit of boagnism because they all come across like bogans. Don't get me wrong, that is not a completely bad thing. Essentially, if you are raised in Australia you can't dodge the bogan bullet and its not sexist. It's in us all and we can't hide it, well you can if you think about it too much, but if you have an alcoholic bevvy in your hand your bogan will come out, it just will!!

Rachel

I am only really mentioning Rachel because I didn't actually remember her until last nights episode. She scored a single date but the thing that ruined it all for me, was the Channel 10 promo. They show her backflipping off a pirate ship into water. It was impressive on the promo and made me think there is more to her than just being a bogan! But watching it again during the episode, it just was so deflated. She was a bogan who can backflip instead of a cool chick who can backflip. Its the same feeling you get when you peek at your christmas present before its Christmas. It was a cool surprise, then it became the present you didn't ask for but you have to look surprised. It just ruined it for me. Though she did get a rose. I have to ask though, when will Richie have a single date and not give a rose? Maybe that will be when he has a single with Queen Keira! Can you imagine her reaction if he didn't give her a rose?

Keira doesn't even have to be Wicker, she will cast a spell on Richie and everyone in the house, even Oshie wouldn't be spared!!

Noni

Aka Bacon Spice, is not going to win this gig by any stretch of the imagination but I had to mention her because she has a cool nickname! She loves bacon and she would be considered to be the 'curvy' girl in the house which totally makes me happy to see. The Bachelor definitely lacks diversity in shape, size, and ethnicity. I am definitely not the only one who sees it. Noni seems nice and she is a swimwear designer (sounds familiar to a lass in last season) so I guess we need to watch out for the launch of her new swimwear line coming our way this Summer ! (charity plug over)




So there are some other girls from the original group still holding on with white knuckles. But last nights episode brought three new ladies to the table, which came as a shock to the original Bachiettes. But I do have to ask, yet again, if they saw last season, did they not remember there were "intruders" in that season? It's all part of the show. I so can't wait for a Bachiette to be so into the show she plays it like survivor because she knows how it works. Nothing will be a surprise and she will explain to the other girls that Bachie really doesn't come up with the ideas for the dates himself, he just has to say he does. Say wha?

Before I go, let me chat about Richie for a moment. Now he was not a favourite of mine in the Bachelorette. I found him too agreeable and everything seemed to be "cool bananas" which we all know in life it's not. I found him boring, but still a handsome sort with a good sick pack, sorry six pack and an "as you wish" Wesley look-a-like from The Princess Bride, which scored him bonus cookie points.

 I am still yet to understand though, what a rope specialist does and how that can earn one a good income, but I am open to learning. I might suggest my son consider doing it at Uni. All that aside, this season means we have to watch him week after, week, after boring week. The man's personality is limited to say the least. He is a nice guy, but oh so limited and I feel the girl that accepts his final rose will need to be willing to balance him out or equal him.

So far the shows are best watched with Twitter in hand, it's true, it makes the show more impressive. I also worry for the entertainment value of the show when Keira either doesn't get a rose, or she walks off because she is "Not Happy" with how the girls are behaving or if Richie doesn't do something he should have like kissed her already. Me thinks though that maybe Richie feels a little uneasy (or we could use the word intimidated, either works) around Keira. I can't quite pin point why he would feel this way but maybe its a bit like Keira is like...

Maybe she creeps him out? Whatever the delay in his affection towards her, I worry she might explode quite literally if he doesn't make a move soon!! (notice how the lady in this gif has blond hair too)

The Bachiettes need to consider a lock down plan or a safe zone should this occur. They might need to get Oshie involved because Oshie is the good samaritan in all this. He has the math skillz, them word skillz, commercial promotion skillz, the lean down to my shoulder Richie if you need it skillz. I am not sure if he can dance but I am thinking he must be able to shake it with some boogie skillz, and don't forget the vegan skillz coz he loves the earth. He got all dem skillz. Osher is the package!

The Bachelorette Australia Ep 9 Recap and BachietteTreat

Episode 9

And then there were 3 Bachies standing and one of them has already stolen BachieQueen's heart and the other two are along for the ride and potential modelling contracts. BachieQueen takes each Bachie on a one to one date this episode and at the end of this episode, a Bachie will be departing back into singledom.

Sasha's Date

I really felt for Sasha on this date because he has a fear of heights and BachieQueen is well aware of this. Geared with this knowledge she decides the coolest date would be to totes go skydiving! No doubt Sasha's first impression was....

But he held it together like a trooper or like a love sick puppy dog, because he decided to go up in the plane that has a transparent roller door, which would make any hypsiphobic hurl at the sight of it. Personally, I have a crippling fear of heights. The very thought of skydiving and falling from an aeroplane makes me feel ill. Though that being said, if my husband decided to take me skydiving when we were dating, I probably would have skydived like Sasha did, anything for love right?


Once on the ground BachieQueen realises she could get Sasha to do just about anything in the name of love! She also realisies that this date means they can totes get through any challenges that life could throw at them IF they were to be together. This makes BachieQueen so excited, she starts to get queasy and light headed! The doctor is called in to monitor her but all she be thinking...

BachieQueen manages to get her heart rate down and back to normal beating mode. The thrill of the skydiving and the presence of her BachieKing were too much for her body to take!!! Things are looking good for the couple until they sit down on the pashing couch and BachieQueen says she is concerned that Sasha may not like her after the show is over because she doesn't have nice things! Sasha and us are like...

Is she saying....?

But Sasha patches it all up with his reassurance that stuff like that doesn't bother him and he's like....

And she melts for him all over again. Sash is the Man!! #TeamSasha


Richie

So I want to go all cray cray on the Princess Bride gifs again, but we'll see how we go. We might need to mix it up a little due to the nature of the date.  BachieQueen takes Richie to the snow and in true Aussie form, there isn't much snow to get excited about, though its enough to get Richie thinking its like the movies and its all #CoolBananas! He is from Perth! After some snowball fighting, with what snow they could find,  it was time to get serious. BachieQueen was on a mission. She had to hear just how serious Richie was about her, and by serious I mean, the "L" word. Was he falling in love with her, or was he trying to fall in love with her? She asked him but we at home, were like...

Yeah, so words came out of his mouth but I can't quite remember what he was saying exactly and I am concerned he wasn't really sure either, which is a bit disheartening.  Poor Richie....

Whatever you mean by what you were saying it means, it made us all feel like you were perhaps going home this episode...

Yes Richie it does!

Michael

If you have been reading my recaps (thanks by the way), you will know I am not a fan of RobotMikey. I can't really put my finger on it, its just seems like....

BachieQueen takes him whale watching. On the way, they are cuddling and he tells her that his mum proposed to his dad and I am all like....

BachieQueen dodges the comment but he tells her again and she has to respond and says something quaint. But its totally....

The highlights of the date go to the whales and then the aquarium room at the dinner date, that was pretty cool. But as for RobotMikey and his conversational skills....

Rose Ceremony

There are no numbers to collate or to speak of at this rose ceremony. And Osher is.....

What else can he do? BachieQueen took over and while she handed her second rose to RobotMikey she shed a tear for Richie. I was so hoping for RobotMikey not to get a rose, but alas, it was Richie. No Rose for you Richie there will be no Princess Bride ending for this show and I too shed a tear because there will be no more....

 It's all good though because I am #teamSasha and always was!!!

My prediction for tomorrow night, well, I think I have already made it clear. RobotMikey has better things to do....

BachietteTreat

All natural orange slushy which consists of oranges, water and ice. It was so noice!!

Missed a Recap?
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Episode 7

This is the most gripping of the episodes thus far, no seriously it is! Tonight we find out who is going to be taking BachieQueen home to their hometowns so she can be verbally grilled by family and friends but before we get to that exciting stuff we find out there is going to be one last single date. All the boys are desperately praying for that spot. I can't quite work out everyone's thoughts but Soccer Mikey's was just a little louder than the others...

Unfortunately, he let himself down. Perhaps the guilts are getting to him about not revealing his true profession? Sasha was the one who scored this date,  yay #teamsasha ( I am a little sad)! The rest were kind hearted and congratulated him. Though no doubt, in their minds a different story is told...

Before we get to the single date, where we will find out if their feelings are still burning with passion as we hope they are. There is a group date to be had.

Group Date

The fellas are informed they must make the dinner for their BachieQueen. Each Bachie puts their dibs on the course they want to make. As obliging as Richie is...

 ..he had to google what canapés were, he's from Perth right?

I am very confident, that when BachieQueen organised this soirée she didn't care too much if the boys understood what a canapé was or if they knew any foreign language to better describe chicken or any meal for that matter. All she was really hoping for was...

It seems that whoever cooked what, BachieQueen was just happy they did and equally surprised that men actually possess the talents to be able to cook in the first place! Was it not too many episodes ago BachieQueen that you admitted to be a bad cook and burnt the cheese toastie?

The dinner party seemed to be going fine until we notice Dave the Plumber recluse. No one is paying him attention, poor little boo boo! Seriously Dave, you are becoming a wet blanket and we kinda don't want you on the show anymore. You don't have fun hanging out with kids, you don't pash on camera, and if you aren't centre of attention at a dinner party you act like a shy child on their first day of school! Boo hoo, have a cry and get over it!

But Dave was not the only wet blanket in the room. They decide to play a dinner party game, which isn't really a game but it will do. BachieQueen picks a card with a statement written on it about one of the Bachies and she has to guess who it belongs to. Kind of how #BacheloretteAU do on their Instagram page with the Bachie's belongings and baby photos, so we know who helped them out with this one!! All seems fun and moving smoothly until Disgeunine Mikey pulls the mood down and claims his worst fear is to not finding his true love...

Yes, that is pretty much the effect you have on me, almost every single show Mikey!

Single Date

Sasha and BachieQueen have to paint an overly large (me thinks this decision was later regretted) blank canvas for a charity auction. Sasha enjoys art, so she seemed it fitting to chose him to go on this date, and also the fact that she pretty much is head over heels for him and can't wait to pash him all day!!

The painting was, well I think we can say the painting wasn't the most important event of the date. They just wanted to be with each other and so the painting can best be described as...

Rose Ceremony

David the douche international model was the first David to be dumped. Then there were two Davids. Davey the childish man was second to go. The Davids were looking worried, could Dave the Plumber represent and bring home the engagement ring? Nup! David is not a good name to have on this show, even strength in numbers can't hold you together! Davids are now extinct in the House of Bachies. Farewell Dave the Plumber, we hope you find the strength to deal with your feels and emotions and find a lady who can deal with them too!

#BachietteTreat

Tonight's treat was more dinnerish. I made taco bread by hand and while it isn't very time consuming,  I started it later than I should have so dinner was right as Bachelorette started.  This is pork fillet tacos with guacamole, homemade salsa or pica di gallo, and lettuce n cabbage. So delicious!

Missed a Recap?

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1