Bachelor Recap Season 4 Episodes 1-7

Dear massive and extensive national, possibly worldly fan base. My sincerest apologies for not being more regular with my blogging. Basically my body decided to ovulate at an irregular moment and now I have a little human growing inside me which will be due to be cut out via c-section late September. I have had many a post written and re-written in my brain but the motivation to sit down at a computer, until now, has been barely there. This will be baby number 5 for us, and while we thought producing 4 babies was a good enough effort and contribution to the Australian population, we figured what harm could one more Wilson do? Don't think too hard on that. Pregnancies are not fun for me. Each pregnancy provides risk of a DVT to my body. I grow happy, but massive babies, and to add to it all, this time around, I have gestational diabetes and I am 7 years older than my last pregnancy. I really should muster up the energy to blog my thoughts about that! I am exhausted to say the least. Raising two teenagers, and growing a baby I don't highly recommend, but somewhere along the way, with prayer, hard work and determination it somehow all works out. Anyway, now you know why my recaps are delayed and you are probably thinking, "Did I notice or care", I will proceed with my thoughts of the Bachie season to date.

Recap in a nutshell episodes 1-7

So we all know the gentle and sweet saying about girls that they are made up of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' right? Well let me apply this to this seasons gaggle of Bachiettes. Well, I might leave the sugar to the side since sugar is not a girl's best friend and lets touch on the spice. The lion's den is made up of a number of interesting characters.The ones to remember most would be Keira, or we can call her a range of nicknames like Scary Spice, Not happy Jan, and Queen Keira, to name but a few and I really should limit myself.

She is going to  bring the most entertainment, and not in the best of ways. She is blond, mildly attractive, (not ugly, but not a glamour either) and has a sporty body. Well, her body is quite good, I will give her that. But her personality is split, to put it bluntly. However, in saying that she doesn't seem too shy in hiding just how cool banana split it is. She calls it like it is,but has no tact. None, zippo, zilch, not even to save her own life. Which is not overly endearing, but makes for the best TV. So naturally she is a reality TV producer's dream.  Her most favourite quirk would have to be licking her front teeth like ALL the FREAKIN time! Like she has peanut butter cemented there for life. As a viewer, this is annoying but don't just take my word for it, see how the peeps on Twitter deal with it!
Queen Keira's most popular quotes to date must be, "I'm not happy","I'm annoyed", "I hate group dates", again to name but a few and I have limited myself on purpose. Episode after episode I watch her and wonder, can I find something about her that makes me want her to win? The answer is absolutely not. Actually speaking of Absolutely, she kind of reminds me of....

Minus the ciggie, but if Queen Keira does not hold back on saying what she wants, whens she wants. Last night's episode totally revealed this side of her. She was immensely ticked off about the intruders entering the house and she let it out on Kiki ( I will talk about her soon). If you recall my recaps from last year, which of course you do as you are my number one fan, you will remember that I desperately hoped for an Suburgatory-style cat fight. Let me refresh your memory.

Scary Spice could just about attack any girl in the Lion's Den and I could totally see this prediction finally come to fruition {happy claps}. She has made it clear she is not on set for the ladies. Although she does claim it's for Richie, but seriously I really don't even think she is staking a claim on him either. I think the real reason why she is on this show is a "Trump-Style" campaign to be the next Bachelorette. One has to ask the question though, how many men would line up to take her on? No seriously...

Enough about Queen Keira, although she provides so much material I could write a thesis on all the different aspect her character brings to the table.

The other girls in the line up to capture Richie's hear include:

Alex

Aka Baby Spice, is young, slim, totally into Richie and has a son. She is a sweet lass, but bless her heart. She is so out of her depth in this show. She has fallen hard and fast and I predict an emotional roller coaster until her exit. She comes across quite needy and I am not sure that Richie can deal with that.  She scored the white rose, which means she can take Richie away each cocktail party for secluded alone time. She stresses each evening on whether to use and if she uses it how it will seem to the other ladies. Bless her heart, she cares too much in a show that require so little caring, from anyone.




Nikki

Megan was my favourite to win but she volunteered to leave in last nights episode. I pinned Nikki( Too Honest Spice) as the other Bachiette in the final two. Now, I think she might take him home, so to speak. She is a very attractive woman, when she is less dolled up (just saying coz I can). She is model of maturity in Lion's Den and comes across as a very down to earth, genuine girl. The kind that might get a gig on a breakfast radio show post show.






Kiki

Aka Posh Spice (though we could say Posh Bogan Spice) has done some modelling, and if you haven't picked up on that by now, then you aren't watching the same show. For some reason its totes important we know this information because it totally defines who she is and why she is on the show I guess. From the first couple of episodes I didn't think she was in it for Richie, but last weeks episode changed my mind a little.
Kiki is not afraid to talk, not quite Queen Keira style, which is why they clash. Queen Keira thinks Kiki ( I have named her Stationery for what I feel are obvious reasons) is a bogan and a peasant. To be honest with you though, I got the impression that Richie at some point has requested a certain percentage of his ideal women to possess a bit of boagnism because they all come across like bogans. Don't get me wrong, that is not a completely bad thing. Essentially, if you are raised in Australia you can't dodge the bogan bullet and its not sexist. It's in us all and we can't hide it, well you can if you think about it too much, but if you have an alcoholic bevvy in your hand your bogan will come out, it just will!!

Rachel

I am only really mentioning Rachel because I didn't actually remember her until last nights episode. She scored a single date but the thing that ruined it all for me, was the Channel 10 promo. They show her backflipping off a pirate ship into water. It was impressive on the promo and made me think there is more to her than just being a bogan! But watching it again during the episode, it just was so deflated. She was a bogan who can backflip instead of a cool chick who can backflip. Its the same feeling you get when you peek at your christmas present before its Christmas. It was a cool surprise, then it became the present you didn't ask for but you have to look surprised. It just ruined it for me. Though she did get a rose. I have to ask though, when will Richie have a single date and not give a rose? Maybe that will be when he has a single with Queen Keira! Can you imagine her reaction if he didn't give her a rose?

Keira doesn't even have to be Wicker, she will cast a spell on Richie and everyone in the house, even Oshie wouldn't be spared!!

Noni

Aka Bacon Spice, is not going to win this gig by any stretch of the imagination but I had to mention her because she has a cool nickname! She loves bacon and she would be considered to be the 'curvy' girl in the house which totally makes me happy to see. The Bachelor definitely lacks diversity in shape, size, and ethnicity. I am definitely not the only one who sees it. Noni seems nice and she is a swimwear designer (sounds familiar to a lass in last season) so I guess we need to watch out for the launch of her new swimwear line coming our way this Summer ! (charity plug over)




So there are some other girls from the original group still holding on with white knuckles. But last nights episode brought three new ladies to the table, which came as a shock to the original Bachiettes. But I do have to ask, yet again, if they saw last season, did they not remember there were "intruders" in that season? It's all part of the show. I so can't wait for a Bachiette to be so into the show she plays it like survivor because she knows how it works. Nothing will be a surprise and she will explain to the other girls that Bachie really doesn't come up with the ideas for the dates himself, he just has to say he does. Say wha?

Before I go, let me chat about Richie for a moment. Now he was not a favourite of mine in the Bachelorette. I found him too agreeable and everything seemed to be "cool bananas" which we all know in life it's not. I found him boring, but still a handsome sort with a good sick pack, sorry six pack and an "as you wish" Wesley look-a-like from The Princess Bride, which scored him bonus cookie points.

 I am still yet to understand though, what a rope specialist does and how that can earn one a good income, but I am open to learning. I might suggest my son consider doing it at Uni. All that aside, this season means we have to watch him week after, week, after boring week. The man's personality is limited to say the least. He is a nice guy, but oh so limited and I feel the girl that accepts his final rose will need to be willing to balance him out or equal him.

So far the shows are best watched with Twitter in hand, it's true, it makes the show more impressive. I also worry for the entertainment value of the show when Keira either doesn't get a rose, or she walks off because she is "Not Happy" with how the girls are behaving or if Richie doesn't do something he should have like kissed her already. Me thinks though that maybe Richie feels a little uneasy (or we could use the word intimidated, either works) around Keira. I can't quite pin point why he would feel this way but maybe its a bit like Keira is like...

Maybe she creeps him out? Whatever the delay in his affection towards her, I worry she might explode quite literally if he doesn't make a move soon!! (notice how the lady in this gif has blond hair too)

The Bachiettes need to consider a lock down plan or a safe zone should this occur. They might need to get Oshie involved because Oshie is the good samaritan in all this. He has the math skillz, them word skillz, commercial promotion skillz, the lean down to my shoulder Richie if you need it skillz. I am not sure if he can dance but I am thinking he must be able to shake it with some boogie skillz, and don't forget the vegan skillz coz he loves the earth. He got all dem skillz. Osher is the package!

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 8 HomeTown Visits

Episode 8

BachieQueen gets to meet the families of her Bachies and potential future husband in this episode and I do believe she is feeling a little like this....

Alex

We all know SirAlex is not born in Australia because he speaks British. So I had a hunch that mummy and daddy wouldn't be making an appearance. But my mind does wonder is mummy like....

SirAlex meets up with BachieQueen on Avoca Beach and they have a warm, but not so passionate greeting. It is clear that SirAlex isn't given many opportunities to steal a pash. As their conversation grows, SirAlex reveals that his sister is flying in from NZ to meet her, which takes BachieQueen by surprise. Quickly my mind races on what his sister could look like. My comical heart is hoping for this...

or even....

But neither come true. His sister seems pleasant and while we are given the impression she is going to drill BachieQueen with her British interrogation skills she is actually quite nice.  Which is a bit of a shame really, because we all know he has totally been #FriendZoned.


Micheal

Excuse me....

Now that I have that out of the way, though I could do it again at any moment! Michael lives in Brisbane and he takes BachieQueen to play some soccer, because that is what he does, he has no other job, no he doesn't, why would we question him?  He then informs BachieQueen that his parents live in the opposite building to where he actually lives. He is all like.....

While we are tempted to find out just how amazingly wonderful his apartment really is, we are  totally bummed to find out we aren't going to his place, we are going to his parents. Why would he do that we must ask? Well, I am guessing his apartment doesn't have views of BrisVegas because it seemed awfully important that BachieQueen saw BrisVegas at night and not just in the daylight. He could also be a cat man!

Mikey's parents are super lovely. His dad is full of personality and I am starting to like him more than Mikey. Why does Mikey come across so disgenuine?  Is there still hope for Mikey? At the end of the date, as he says his good bye to BachieQueen, Mikey shows her the palm of his hand, which he has written in high school black pen, ' I heart Sam'. Excuse me...

Maybe there isn't any hope for him after all.

Richie

Richie greets Bachie Queen with a big hug and those who are weak, think that maybe these two  are going to be married by the end of the season. Those who are strong will stick to the winning team, #teamSasha. Richie shows BachieQueen around Perth, because she has never been before. Note to self, how to score a free trip to a city you have never been to!! (though I am married, so that really can't work for me, but share the knowledge selflessly to others)

Then Richie takes BachieQueen home to meet the family and friends. I think this is the only date  where friends out number family and I am a little puzzled as to why this is so. I was kind of hoping for his friends at least to be like this..

Unfortunately they don't look nor sound anything like them and I am disheartened. The friends do a lot of the talking and asking how genuine BachieQueen's feelings and her intentions are. Like she is going to spill her beans and tell them she is going to ask Richie to marry her or something? Way to represent!  BachieQueen manages to survive the night and Richie goes in for the pash, but she no let him but he manages a little kiss. She is saving her love lips for the lucky last Bachie!!

Sasha

This is where the goods are at! You can so tell that Sasha and BachieQueen are a match pre made in heaven and it took this show to bring them together. Their warm embrace was enough to seal the deal and there is no doubt in my mind Bachie Queen is like....

However, Channel 10 have been working overtime to convince us all that Sasha's family, his mum particularly are not supportive of this relationship. From the promos alone, the impression I got about his mum was like...

But as per normal, her comments were cut, pasted, and cropped for affect and it turns out his mum is quite noice and accepting of BachieQueen. So it seems thumbs up all around and this is truly meant to be. It seems only fair at this point that we call the show off and let BachieQueen and Sasha be together and we can only hope for this...

Rose Ceremony

Sadly, back to the reality of the show where BachieQueen must choose another Bachie to go home so she can be with the last of her Bachies another two episodes. We all know its going to be the Bachie that has been #FriendZoned, which was sealed on the date with no kiss. Ta Ta #Sir Alex, no rose for you!

PS. No BachietteTreat this evening.

Missed a Recap?
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 7

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 6
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 5
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episodes 3 and 4
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2
Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 2 #BachietteTreat

Episode 2

What a golden episode this was! Wow, where do I start? Well I should really start at the end because this is where all the juicy bits happened, but incase you didn't see it at all, I will give you a run down on what lead up to an 'intense'{said in a ladyman voice} evening. 

Single Date

Dave the plumber scored the single date. Bachie Frost likes him coz he's a good "aussie bloke" and he is but he kind of reminds me of..

but he doesn't have a mullet {sad face}. BachieQueen loves how he says all the "genuine Aussie type bloke" stuff like referring to Bachie Queen as a 'bird', wha? All jokes aside, he does seem like a noice guy and he does come across like he is being himself, which is refreshing. In years to come we can only hope for this...

 As for the date, they went to the SCG, which is totally a 'bloke's paradise', right? They are taken there in a black helicopter, because that is a 'blokie' colour, right? They meet a cricketer and play cricket, because that is a 'blokes' game, right? I am getting the hint that Channel 10 has done some research and discovered all the stereotypical things 'blokes' like and tried to squeeze it into a single date. Anyway, the night ends with BachieFrost giving David the plumber a rose. I'm still not convinced he is the one, #teamsasha all the way! 

Group Date

Davey, Alex, and Will are left behind on the group date. The other bachies head to a river and are told they must jump of a cliff to prove their manliness to BachieFrost. This is where I can't crack any jokes. I am completely afraid of heights and jumping from heights totally cripples me with fear. However, they all do it, except for OwlMan, he can't bring himself to jump and for his bravery of admitting he couldn't he scored some alone time with BachieFrost. I was happy for OwlMan up until he went a little creepy and started expressing how he went a little crazy when his ex-girlfriend dumped him and how much he has totally fallen for BachieFrost, it was a little like...

If BachieFrost's hair looks uneven next week, we should be very concerned, v-e-r-y- c-o-n-c-e-r-n-e-d!

Cocktail Party

I should have mentioned that ModelDavid was a little miffed by the group date because he too was scared of heights and had never worn a scuba suit before. He tried new things for BachieFrost, but did she notice? No, she was too taken with OwlMan's bravery. Naturally, this hurt his feelings and he started questioning himself...

Poor ModelDavid had a hard time working this out. He thought by jumping off the cliff he was the man BachieFrost would want, but he didn't score the alone time. So he went a little weird and started causing trouble, thinking it would score him points. He found his inner confidence that was telling him...

This gave him the strength he needed. However, it came out all wrong to the viewers and the other 'blokes'. He broke the #brocode and cut in on Micheal the Soccer dude's time and made things completely awkward, kind of like when Sandragon interrupted alone time between BachieWood and Sarah.  That was a moment that should never be repeated! Eventually he got some alone time with BachieFrost, and the first thing he did was tell her how much 'gangsta' was in him and gave her some baseball cap or something. Now DavidtheModel, I know you try to act gangsta and all but this is all I see..

Then he proceeds to tell BachieFrost to be weary of Micheal the Pro soccer dude because he thinks he is a playa, not just a player (haha that was mine!) which did not go down well with BachieFrost. So she is all like, "what do you think I need in a man"? This is where ModelDavid just crashed and burned in model style. He claimed that BachieFrost needed a good "baby daddy" and someone who looks good in clothes. Ahem...

It is at this point that I think, this douche is so going home tonight! Cut to the rose ceremony and as we all picked it, ModelDavid did not get a rose. However, this douche is not going home without having the last word. He proceeds to tell BachieQueen some dribble about how he thinks she has miss-judged him and says some not so clazzy things. What is this douche's problem? Nobody is impressed with this outburst, not even Oshie who looks like he wants to drop kick him out of the Bachie Mansion. What is wrong with this guy? It is almost like he has taken his inner gangsta a little too seriously. He be like..

but we be like...

Anyway, one David down, two more to go! When I think about DavidtheModel, all I see now is.. 

and finally....

Let's hope he works it out and realises there really, really, really, has to be more to life. 

#BachietteTreat tonight is Caramel and Chocolate Crepe Cake with banana and strawberry. 

Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

The Bachelor Australia Season 3 Finale Recap

The Bachelorette Australia Recap Episode 1

Episode 1

I'm feeling like there is a bit of de ja vu with this whole show. First of all, the Bachelorette is Sam, same as The Bachelor. They are back at the Bachie Mansion, do we call it Bachie Prison now? Or Man Prison? The Bachelors themselves resemble the Bachie Girls and did I see a promo of Sam and her Bachie Guy walking down a row of grape vines in a vineyard, recycled {cough}. To be fair there are some things that are kind of same same but different. The Bachie Guys sip from green goblets instead of red or red fringed goblets. Unless you are Dave the plumber, who drinks his beer from a glass vase.

Basically we are introduced to the Bachelors, and those who are going to stay for at least a couple episodes get a back story. This is how I saw things.

Alex is 35 and is a financial consultant. He is fluent in British, which is super thick like jam on scones when he speaks to Bachie Frost, but when he is with the dudes it's like the proper way to spread vegemite on toast! He reminds me of this....

 or maybe this....

Sasha is the guy who made a very good first impression on Bachie Frost, she even gave him a first impressions rose. This is when he was like...

I would be very shocked if Sasha didn't make it to the final two.

David is the the international model and how could we forget this important piece of information. He managed to mention it like a million times throughout the whole episode. His impressive line to Bachie Frost, " I was born in Poland, so I have a European passport, that will come in handy for you so we can tour Europe easily" or something along those lines. All I could think was...

I could actually spend most of this post sharing gifs that came to mind for poor David. Like this one...

Anyway, let's move on. The other David is called Dave and he is a plumber and he drinks his beer from glass vases. There must be something manly about this or maybe he is collecting his roses in the vases or something. All jokes aside, he seems like a down to earth guy. His dream date would be a good steak at a pub and good conversation. Need I say more?

There is yet another David, but to avoid confusing the viewers or Bachie Frost,  he has been christened  Davey. He is a carpenter and I swear his older sister is...

Richie is a Rope Technician Specialist. I don't know, Google it!!  Richie is all the way from Perth WA and he has a lot to share...

But I also got this vibe....

Kieran is an Exercise Physiologist. The occupation titles keep getting better! I don't remember much about this guy, but he did get a rose and this is what came to mind....

Let's see where this talent takes him!!

Will is a Musician from Western Australia. He is all like....

He is not going to last more than a couple of episodes, but he makes Bachie Frost laugh. Need I say more?

Micheal is a professional football (soccer) player from Queensland. He has taken timeout from his busy professional career to try and snag himself a lady on a reality TV show. Wha? Is it just me, or does this guy feel a little disgenuine? Why do we need to see a him having a shower, what has that got to do with anything? I'm thinking...

Drew is a Sleep Technician, yes, its a real job...apparently. I'm thinking very generously...

....an owl. That is all you needed Drew to leave an impression on Bachie Frost. Kind of weird but memorable none the less.

So this is about as far as my memory will care to extend as to who is in the running for Bachie Frost's affection. Then my favourite non-bachie shows up and while I used Barbie Ken to depict Osher in The Bachelor Recaps, I am thinking I need to man it up a little to match the testosterone that is gushing through the mansion. Osher is in da house....

Osher generously share's his mathematical talents and informs us, which we would not have known without the passionate duty to share his genius mind, that two gentleman are leaving tonight. The dude that turned up in a happy shirt and super large skateboard goes home and some other guy, I have no idea who he is.

The Bachelor Austral Season 3 Recaps
Recap Finale
Recap Episode 14
Recap Episode 13
Recap Episode 12
Recap Episode 11
Recap Episode 10
Recap Episode 9
Recap Episode 7& 8
Recap Episode 5 &6
Recap Episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2