Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode 9 Recap and Bachie Treat

Episode 9 
Was so glad that my flight got me home in time to watch The Bachelor live tonight (WYKWIM). So the last couple of episodes we are seeing Emily relax a bit and show her true colours. We thought maybe it was just QLDGirl having a negative influence on her, but it is possible to say it could have been Emily who was influencing her? Either way you look at it, Emily's true colours are not 50 shades of grey. If she was wearing a mood ring I think it would show the colours of black, red, and orange, which apparently mean she is stressed, nervous, and troubled or unsettled. Which is a very nice way of saying, she no play nice. I so wished Emily was a nice girl with the qualities of Parmie. She is a such pretty girl, but even BachieWood saw through her, which is pretty good work for Bachie.

Single Date
Anyway, Bec scores a single date with Bachie. I think he was personally more stoked about going indoor skydiving than being with Bec, this was just a feeling I had, but as the date progressed I knew I read his body language right. Bachie Wood sends Bec home from their date. I was not saddened by this exit at all. Bec is a bit of a swinger. I don't mean that in how it sounds. I mean that she swings from MeanGirl camp to NiceGirl camp, which in the rules of sisterhood, is not allowed and it basically means she is a dirtystreetspy and can't be trusted.

Annnnd, I kinda figured out she didn't really like him all that much.Not falling in love with the guy and living in a mansion with food rations and sharing dishes with girls who had pash time with the man you realise you are not falling in love with was getting a bit too much to handle.

While those of you who care shed a tear for Bec's departure we are all shocked to discover that BachieWood can make pancakes. He surprises the girls at the mansion which previous to his arrival has been on food rations. Imagine their excitement when he reveals he is going to make pancakes for them and they can actually eat then and have ice cream too, how nawty! Bachie is a bit disappointed with Emily who takes a long to time to swoon over him in her breakfast scarf. He is starting to worry. Can he picture himself waking up to her each morning for the rest of his life to that annoying breakfast scarf?

Single Date No.2
Single date time again (rules are being stretched in this episode) and Sarah scores this one. She is ferried over to his personal boat house shed, because he has a boat, doesn't he? Bachie then thinks it would be so tops to test Sarah's wine tasting skills. Has he forgotten that she is on mansion food rations, but drinking wine is not forbidden, in fact its an all you can drink affair and if they try to consume anything that is not red or white they are given Cinderella duties or even worse choosing crappy shirts for Osher?  Sarah proves the mansion all-you-can-drink wine training is successful and wins the Bachie wine tasting test hands down. He is so impressed he wants to pash her, but she no keen. Finally he produces a red rose which means she has to kiss him, he got dem moves!! Though it's clear there is no sizzle in this lame-o kiss. Me thinks she is in it to win it, not the man!

Cocktail Party
Cocktail party time and when Osher walks in all I can think of is, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Which is such a tease to girls who are on food rations and only get to drink wine. Does wine and chocolate go together??

Hold your wine glasses ladies, (and your boobs, as they may just fall out tonight) there is an intense shock install for you this evening. The intruders are coming {que twilight zone music}. Apparently this is a shock to BachieWood too. Like me, he didn't watched last season, so he had no idea there were going to be intruders.

Intruder number one has brown hair, does yoga, and her name is Lana, which auto correct keeps saying is Llama. Who can argue with auto correct, it's always correct right? So Llama has big eyes, kind of like a llama I suppose, so auto correct does know all! I can't remember much else about her.

When intruder number two arrives (it feels a little bit like Big Brother meets Perfect Match, but there is no sliding door, just a car door, and I wish Osher really was Dexter!) all I can think of is Tinkerbell. I don't recall what her name is, so Tinkerbell it is. Then I find out she is a food blogger. Gee whizz, where is her camera? Trash it now sister, you can't take pictures of food that doesn't exist. How many different angles can you take a picture of a glass of wine? I suppose we will find out.

It is very clear from the arrival of the intruders that Emily is no happy. So Bachie takes her aside to see how she feels about things. Emily's guard is really down and she lays it out in red, orange, and black. Emily is so confident that she has Bachie wrapped around her lipstick that she let's go of all her inner thoughts, that unfortunately Ems, sounds a bit on the unpleasant side. You are definitely coming across as a real Mean Girl. As Bachie be all like ....

But Emily no compute, how can he say such things to me, and she be like:

Rose Ceremony
We then cut to the rose ceremony where Bachie shocks all the girls and gives roses to the newbies. The final two are Emily and Nina. Then the whole of Australia are transfixed by the dramatic exist of Emily. She doesn't wait for Bachie to announce who loses, she dashes dramatically out right past him, close enough for him to grab her if he wanted to, but he just watches her leave, it is priceless. Her dramatic exit only has an effect on HeyBro who dutifully seeks permission from  Sam if she can go and talk to her.  He's all like, what evs Heybro, I have a rose ceremony to complete. He gives the rose to Nina, to which he adds was intended for her anyway.  Then Heybro be like.

Peace out!

PS, no #BachieTreat tonight. I was getting over jet lag!

Recap Episode 7&8
Recap Episode 5&6
Recap episode 4
Recap Episode 3
Recap Episode 1&2

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